Hi all, been a longtime lurker but feeling today that I could do with some advice/just get it all off my chest. It could be a long one.
Been with my partner for 9 and a half years, we own our house together, no children, 1 dog.
We've had several arguments over the years but they've always been solved within days/weeks.
We had a disagreement around a week ago, he became a bit distant but towards this weekend he seemed back to normal and we were back to our normal routine. On Saturday he said I had damaged an item of his (a £1 item). I worded my reply wrongly. Rather than just saying yes, I'm sorry about that, I felt the need to say 'no, they were already damaged before I used them but yes they are damaged more now.'
He went mad and started saying I was untrustworthy and a liar. He left and went out for the rest of the day. When he returned I tried to talk to him and apologise for my reply, he said he was done and didn't want to spend his life with a liar. He told me he didn't even want to sit in the same room as me and watch the TV and we would have to take turns using the lounge. We argued a bit more and he went off to sleep in the spare room.
Next morning, I try and discuss with him, he still says he has nothing more to say than what he said last night. After a bit more of this, I chose to go and see my sister for the afternoon with the dog. He said goodbye to me. He also went out while I was out to visit a relative that we share seeing everyday.
We were both home in the evening but hadn't spoken so I went to ask if he wanted any dinner, his reply was 'I've already ordered mine', so I just said okay and went upstairs, I didn't want to push it.
He went to collect his food and then when he came back, came upstairs to say he had ordered enough for us both and if I wanted any, I could have some and come down. So I did, we sat in silence (baring in mind he said he didn't want to be in the same room) for two hours (football was on) and then I went to bed, but made sure to say that I loved him. He didn't respond.
Now what do I do? He's on nights this week so still at home, I'm at work now, the dog comes to work with me. He should be home when I get in and we'll normally have dinner together and walk the dog before he goes to work.
Do I let him just have a bit more time to process everything? Was him getting me food, him trying to say he's still mad but it will be okay? In previous arguments, he hasn't gotten me food. He knows I tend to not eat when stressed.
I'm so confused, I don't want to just end everything we have over this.
I'm not a liar, I may have told a few minor fibs over the years but nothing major. Things like what I had for lunch, whether I've replied to a message etc.
Now I've written it out, it sounds ridiculous. Feel better for getting it off my chest, sorry if it doesn't make sense.