I have one sister who is 3 years younger than me. Growing up we were never close, I think we have totally different personalities.
10 years ago she left an abusive relationship and our whole family turned against her except me. (He was a naracissit and my family fell for it) I went into big sister protective mode and helped her through absolute hell.. since then it felt like it was me and her against the family. At least we had eachother. I thought we had become close and she knew I would always have her back.
Last year I was gifted a large sum of money from a wealthy friend and me and my husband decided to invest it into an new house.. I decided the only person I wanted to “treat” as such was my sister so I paid off her car loan, took her & her partner to Barcelona, spoilt them at Christmas plus vouchers for new clothes etc.. she was incredibly grateful and I did it because I wanted too (not because she needed it cause she’s got a really well paid job). I wasn’t showing off with it either, i generally just wanted to spoil her a little bit cause she’s my sister and I love her.
Everything was going fine until my husbands birthday. She said she would call around in the morning but she didn’t show up.. we ended up waiting around until late after afternoon.. I called her out on it but I wasn’t harsh.. I was just a little annoyed and expressed it in a jokey way. She called me “Selfish” and hasn’t spoken to me since.
I’m so hurt that after all I have done for her she calls me Selfish?? I’ve been far from Selfish.
I really do feel like it’s always me pushing for this relationship so I am not chasing her this time..
today I find out her boyfriend has blocked me on social media.. (maybe he’s the problem?) cause I always sensed he didn’t like me very much.
I’m so angry and upset I feel like disappearing.. I’m so done with it. She just always seems to judge me a lot regardless of how good I am to her.
On top of this I have to speak to my mother occasionally because of my kids and when I do she can’t help but make little comments and digs about money and not affording things etc! I’m sick to the back teeth of everyone.
i don’t know if it’s jealousy maybe? Altho I’ve tried so hard not to brag about things.. plus most of the money went into our new property so it’s not like I’m sitting around with millions in the bank!
im 43 and I’ve always loved my sister (she’s the only family I’ve really had this last decade) but maybe im starting to realise me and her were never compatible. She seems to want a relationship/friendship with her boyfriends sisters but not her own which hurts.. its such a hard pill to swallow and if i could turn back time I wouldn’t have given her so much. I always wanted a sister who was a best friend but it’s not going to be the case and I was stupid for ever believing it was.
Im probably just ranting more than asking but any advise would be welcome.
how do you walk away and How do I handle this situation?