I don't understand what is going on

[Tryasimighty]

Been with my partner for a couple of years now. We're buying a property and then getting married. Except he keeps picking these tiny fights with me and it's leaving me feeling insecure in the relationship and confused.

Tonight he told me that if I want someone who is only going to be interested in doing all the things I want to do then I need to find someone else. I was quietly on my phone whilst he was watching football.

I recently read that it’s common for men in ‘early’ years of relationships, to start being deliberately mean and picking at their partners. The reason being is that they feel they don’t want to be in the relationship anymore but they don’t have the guts to confront that. So being mean and picking at their partner in the hope the partner decides to leave ultimately. Then the guy isn’t seen as the bad guy I.e he was the one who got dumped. Not the other way round

This, OP. If he’s picking fights now, during what’s supposed to be the ‘honeymoon’ period, he’ll be seriously abusing you when he’s got you tied down with mortgage and children.

Escape now.

Please don't think of getting into any kind of legal contract with him. It sounds like he wanted to fight last night and even though you were sitting doing nothing he was still going to make it happen.

Look at your options now but don't make him one of them.

Goodness , that's a powerful and simple question. Which helps me sort something out in my life.
Thank you .

Tonight he told me that if I want someone who is only going to be interested in doing all the things I want to do then I need to find someone else.

If there had been no building up to this then you can only take his comment in one of two ways imo.

He's telling you to leave (because he hasn't the guts to, or can't be bothered with the effort of finding another roof over his head so you need to).
OR
He's training you to accept his abuse further into the relationship - as he did tell you to leave, so it's your fault for staying. You will be blamed for everything, including the rain.

Get out while you can, don't go back even if he promises you the world. He isn't being kind (or an adult). Remember that.

Don't settle for this. There are better men out there.

Rip the plaster off OP.

Ask him if he is starting these small arguments because he wants to break up but can’t face doing it.

A simple ‘I’ve noticed we’ve had a few sillly arguments lately. And then there was the comment last night about not liking the same things. It feels like maybe you’ve changed your mind about us and are struggling to be honest about it and instead are engineering fights. What do you think? Have I got this right? ‘

It could save you weeks of hurt and you would not be tied together financially.

Watch his reaction really carefully. It will tell you everything you need to know. Of course it will be horrible if he says he wants to break up. But this is going to happen anyway if that’s the case, and you get to start rebuilding quicker this way.

sorry he’s being a shit OP. 💐