Why are men shit?

[ohreallywhynow]

Found out that DH's best friend is going on holidays 'travelling' or with the lads to sleep with prostitutes or women he has met online gaming. He has two young children but boasts on how he has convinced his wife for him to have 1 week a year away by himself for obvious reasons.

Why are men like this?

I can't tell her can I?

Are you friends with her?

Not all men are like that! That bloke sounds revolting, though. Yes, I'd tell her, poor woman.

She might be ok with it. You never know what really goes on in a marriage. Unless she was your close friend or sister etc I’d stay out of it.

he is horrible, but in my experience, most men are not really

Of course you can.

It's not a man thing, he's just a piece if shit.

Now you know and your partner does. I'd expect my husband to want to put distance between himself and this creep now. Otherwise i'd assume they were cut from the same log.

And obviously tell the wife.

I'm not friends with her at all, they are friends from his home town and we live in a different country.

He's currently trying to organise another trip for 2 weeks. I don't want my partner to go as I don't condone the friends actions.

Surely deep down she knows he a shit?

People are friends with people they like - why is your DH friends with someone like this? I'd be horrified if my DH was mates / going on holiday with someone like this - is your DH involved? What's he doing when his mate is off shagging around?

They went to school together and they remained friends, off and on.

Apparently the friend left for a couple of days to go see a woman he met online.

I agree though it doesn't paint DH in the best light, but when I ask he says it's just how he is

What gets me is that he doesn't want to leave his children but it's ok to treat your wife life that! Anyway, most men aren't like that?

You've bigger problems if your husband still associates with him.

I have a moral compass, I don't sully myself associating with men who use prostitutes and cheat on their wives. If I did, it would also be an insult to my partner.

So if your husband isn't firm about never been seen (or at the very least, going on holiday) with those lowlife again then either he's a coward with no respect for you, or he's as big a low life as his friend.

I'd absolutely drop the woman a heads up message. She may know deep down but, I'd tell her anyway.

No, most men are not like that.

That's true. There's a reason for the saying you can judge someone by the company they keep.

She might be ok with it. You never know what really goes on in a marriage

Some posters always come out with shit like this.

It's true in about 0.000001% of cases.

Yet these posters keep presenting it as a likely scenario, have no idea why.

but when I ask he says it's just how he is

Would he be happy if you were mates with a woman who acted equivalent, and would he accept "oh it's just how she is" from you??

I doubt it, men tend to have lots of not terribly flattering adjectives for women who fuck around on their partners (and her fitness to be a parent is often called into question too); rather than them saying "it's just how she is".

or with the lads to sleep with prostitutes

He could give her an std.

Condoms don't protect against all of them, and prostitutes rarely use condoms for oral sex ....which is not totally risk free.

If she gets pregnant by him again, it could also affect the foetus.

She needs to be informed somehow.

Men aren’t shit. This man is despicable and he’s someone your husband considers worthy of being a best friend. Focus on your specific problem, being married to a man with no morals.

He's shit, we're not all like that. In fact, most of us aren't.

And you're husband's a bit shit too for still being friends with someone like that.

Why on earth wouldn't you tell his wife? I've had a couple of colleagues who act like this bloke. I've always made sure their wives had the necessary information to put 2 and 2 together.

I'm struggling to see how it isn't most men and I wonder whether it is an age thing (under 40s). I've always known men follow their knobs, including my father (slept around a lot) and any man I've known. I can have been that unlucky with men.

It seems to be accepted that it's just how men are. Those for who have men who don't follow their knobs don't ever let them go.

In relation to my partner he see it as that just how his friend is but he wouldn't do it, it doesn't interest him. His friend has been like this since youth and shockingly either his partner doesn't know or does know and just accepts how he is.

Not all men are like that, nor do they accept it in friends. When my friend was cheated on by her DH, my DH refused to speak to him anymore.

Partners don't always see it. I always thought he was cheating, from the moment I met him. His behaviour & attitude made it obvious. Trips away, secrecy, lies...

I never had a reason to accuse him, sadly, and friend still thinks it was only on the one trip he cheated (3 different prostitutes). He only got caught because he gave her an STI - which he blamed her for, saying it must have been dormant (for 12 years) - & she believed him. Her gyno set her straight & suddenly he confessed. The worst part is friend told me (afterwards) he'd done the same thing to his first wife but never thought he'd cheat on her (yes, she said that!)