He did this on purpose didn’t he?

[HowDidJudithSurvive]

I broke up with boyfriend of over 3 years on Wednesday, his jealousy paranoia and accusations have become too much for me to handle. It always ramps up massively if he isn’t centre of attention and I had enough.

I had an exam coming up this morning which I had been focused on hence him causing a row.

After I told him I couldn’t do it anymore he blocked me everywhere, then Thursday he sent me four emails at work telling me he didn’t want to hear from me again and tried to ring me (I didn’t respond to any of it)

This morning an hour before my exam he text me good luck. I am still blocked as far as I can tell so I ignored it.

I just keep thinking he sent that to throw me off before my exam. I know it doesn’t matter really but how spiteful can one person be!

(I passed the exam anyway)

Fantastic that you passed

as soon as he unblocks you - block him quick
move on pdq

I reckon you passed knowing a better future lies ahead... One without him in it...
Now block him and forget he existed..

Well done on passing your exam and good luck with the future 💐

Tell him you passed, and then send a dozen smiley emojis. Don't respond after that.

That was exactly why he did it.

Fuck him.

Also, well done on the exam!

I thought as much, it almost worked too, I saw it as I was putting my phone in the locker and my head went, I managed to pull it back and focus but it was tough.

@PossumintheHouse I am not even going to engage with him at all. I have had years of this, I can’t do it anymore I just need to stay strong.

I love him, but I can’t make him behave in a reasonable way, I can only control my reaction to him behaviour. I just have to keep reminding myself.

Well done on passing the exam :) You are well rid dont let him worm back in.

Why on earth haven't you blocked him?

I didn’t think he would message me since he has me blocked everywhere.

his jealousy paranoia and accusations have become too much for me to handle

Characters like this never change in my experience, they think they are absolutely right and absolutely justified. It doesn't matter how much you try to reason with them. It's a values issue and often a personality disorder is involved too. You have absolutely done the right thing.

Please keep him gone.

You say you love him, why? What is it about him that makes you love him? He doesn't sound worthy of your love.

Is he going to make it difficult or dangerous for you to stay split up with him?

Well done on passing the exam BTW!

I don’t think he will be dangerous. I could be wrong but I have never seen that side to him.

I haven’t heard anything else from him since the good luck message.

I know he can’t change, he is thoughtful, loving and just wants to look after me but he has obsessive jealousy, always on high alert for any sign that I could potentially cheat. He has other traits of OCD and from a brief google they can be linked.

I just need to dig in and continue my studies and put some time and space between us.

I would block him now permanently. Behaviour like trying to sabotage your exam which is really important to you shows you exactly who his is and that he doesn't have your best interests at heart. I suggest ending contact permanently, I don't think any good will come from it. Wishing you well.

Congratulations on passing the exam and on being rid of a man who tries to sabotage you! Win-win. Enjoy the successful future you’ve worked for!

I had a boyfriend like this as a teenager. Succeeded in ruining many a night out, Scout camp and even job interviews etc. It was only once I was out of it that I could step back and see how much it had begun to affect me.

Congratulations on passing your exam and here's to your new life without being under scrutiny all the time 🍻

But he sent you four emails at work. Why didn't you block after the first one?

Please do block him on everything now, don't leave control with him.

Brilliant news on your exam, onwards and upwards.

Have you blocked him OP?

Then he can't message you when HE wants.

Or if you are still intrigued if he will message you put his WhatsApp in an archive folder and mute notifications

I'm a bit concerned you haven't actually blocked his emails and WhatsApp etc ... Why wouldn't you, especially after the multiple emails etc?

Do it now... Unless you're finding a reason not to?

Definitely agree with PPs, you need to block him on everything. He's manipulative. Please don't give him the control to unblock you and contact you when he want to so he can mess with your head.

You might find he will try other ways to contact you if you have him completely blocked, if he does that should be all you need to see who he really is.

Congratulations on your exam!

He can’t. He’s unblocking you to play with your head and then blocking again.
How old is he? I’d expect this from a teenager- still needs to be shut out of your life. Nobody needs that energy.

Well.done on passing, and well done on recognising his behaviour pattern.

He's trying to hoover you back in, hence the messages. Just keep him blocked, and move on. He won't change, and absolutely anything he does now is pure manipulation.

To people saying, why didn't you do it sooner, when you come out of a relationship like this, it's hard to always spot stuff from the inside.

You only broke up a few days ago and he sent you four, FOUR emails. AND tried calling you.
Why on earth didn't you block him? Are you enjoying the drama?

Don't message him (as a previous poster suggested). Block block block.
Do not engage, it's over. You are 100% well rid of him.
Congratulations on passing your exam.

I didn’t see any reason to block him, I just ignored his emails, they didn’t bother me. The message right before the exam did though so I will block.

Saves dealing with any more of it if he tries to play games.

Thanks for the congratulations too!

The first email to your work was enough to block him.