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Relationships

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No affection in marriage

9 replies

albie1 · 15/06/2024 16:03

Would welcome any thoughts…
10 years ago my husband and I struggled through an extremely difficult time with our adolescent son. We became very polarised in how we tried to manage the situation in such a way that we were unable to support each other. I know my husband felt very hurt and let down by me at the time. Since then our physical relationship has dwindled, both in terms of sex and affection largely because my husband, who had always instigated the physical side of things, stopped doing so. Now if I were to be affectionate to him he’d freeze/pull away… I know this is because of unresolved anger dating back to that difficult time. This hasn’t been softened by time and nor has couples therapy helped. We don’t not get along but I feel we’re like flatmates rather than partners. I can live like this, can somehow switch off a need for more and for the most part don’t feel unhappy, but there are times I feel sad and long for a lively affection with someone… The thought of separating fills me with dread- we’ve been together for 30 years so our lives are very intertwined and we are bound together by a lot of shared history…
What would you do??

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 15/06/2024 17:28

Decide to either stay for the company, and there’s nothing wrong with that as you age, or end it for the affection you crave. I think you need to think about finances too, how would you cope.
Its not easy.

Strin · 15/06/2024 17:34

Always a tricky decision and as you get older, the trickier it becomes. I presume after all this time, the connection has completely gone now?

NZDreaming · 15/06/2024 17:42

You say for the most part you aren’t unhappy but you don’t say that you are happy either. You’ve used a lot of double negatives to describe your relationship.

You need to work out what you want from your life and relationship. We only get one life and it seems an awful shame to spend it with someone you ‘don’t not get along’ with and who doesn’t actually make you happy. Sometimes relationships come to a natural end, this does not make the relationship a failure.

If you compare it to getting your dream job, you put in time and effort, passion and loyalty. You spend years developing your skills and being an excellent employee. Over time issues arise, the job is less enjoyable but you stick at it because you’ve invested so much. Ultimately there may come a time when your needs change, or the company changes and you no longer feel the same connection to the job that once was so important to you. Leaving that job wouldn’t be seen as a failure, everything you accomplished during that time still stands but it’s time to make a change. A new adventure for you that will be fulfilling again and the opportunity for the company to grow with a new employee who is excited to be there.

Obviously ending a relationship is a big decision and not an easy one to make but it doesn’t sound like either of you are happy with how things are.

Staying together, if nothing changes, means agreeing to a lifetime of celibacy and no intimacy. You say you don’t feel like partners so other than not living alone, fear of detangling your lives and a shared history what are you actually getting from this relationship? Is there financial security, companionship, shared interests? Even if these things do exist, are they enough?

By staying together you are depriving each other of the opportunity to be happy, either on your own or with someone new. Do you know that your husband is content to live his life as your flatmate? Maybe he is just as uncertain as you about your future but is also afraid to address it.

Dont fall into the sunk cost fallacy - there is nothing worse than staying with the wrong person for 30years than staying with the same person for 30years plus 1 day. Separation does not negate the years of history and children you share but staying together as you are will cause resentment and bitterness to taint the times that were happy.

How long ago did you have counselling? Would it be worth trying that again? If not then maybe individual counselling to help you work out what it is you want and help him deal with his anger. Couples counselling can also be useful for working towards amicable separation.

Ultimately you need to speak to your husband. Explain how you feel and ask him to take some time to consider what he wants going forward. Apologise for what happened if appropriate but remind him that it is unfair for him to hold this against you indefinitely. You can’t change the past so he either accepts that, forgives you and you move forward together to rebuild your relationship or he can’t and you decide whether that’s something you can live with. If not then you have no choice but to separate. If you are concerned about how to say this or how receptive he will be you could write him a letter or address it in a therapy session.

You both deserve happiness and shouldn’t be forcing yourselves to stay together because the alternative is too hard.

albie1 · 15/06/2024 19:19

Those are such helpful responses, thank you so much for taking the time…
Just responding to a couple of your questions NZDreaming- I think what I’m getting from it is a partner who is kind and who knows me better than anyone… I’m also held back from leaving by a fear that I would struggle if he were with someone else… and a worry that I’m too old (in my early 60s) to start again
There’s also the thought I guess that this might shift but as time passes and as wd have longer in couple therapy- which is ongoing- without this thing shifting I start to question whether it will

OP posts:
NZDreaming · 15/06/2024 20:51

albie1 · 15/06/2024 19:19

Those are such helpful responses, thank you so much for taking the time…
Just responding to a couple of your questions NZDreaming- I think what I’m getting from it is a partner who is kind and who knows me better than anyone… I’m also held back from leaving by a fear that I would struggle if he were with someone else… and a worry that I’m too old (in my early 60s) to start again
There’s also the thought I guess that this might shift but as time passes and as wd have longer in couple therapy- which is ongoing- without this thing shifting I start to question whether it will

I’m glad that you are having ongoing therapy. It might be worth bringing up your concerns in a session. Therapy takes time, it’s not a quick fix and will take longer the bigger the issues/the more there is to unpack as well as the level of insight the individuals have to their own behaviour. If you’ve only been going 6 weeks I’d say you need to give it more time, if it’s been 6 years then I’m not sure you’re going to make any further progress.

I understand the concern about losing the person who knows you best, them finding someone else and the possibility of never finding someone yourself. Are those fears enough to keep the status quo?

You are plenty young enough to find someone else but there are no guarantees, you need to weigh up the certainty of being in a committed but non romantic relationship for the rest of your life vs being single with the potential for a fulfilling and happy romantic life. Lots of people separate at your age so it’s not like there wouldn’t be options, it’s just whether you are interested in the prospect of dating and putting yourself out there.

You say your husband is kind but is his unwillingness to forgive you and move on really that kind? He is entitled to feel hurt and angry but holding on to that for 10years seems excessive, especially as it seems to be the key issue damaging your relationship.

If you stay together as you get older there is a high probability that a time will come where one of you needs to care for the other. Would you be willing to look after him despite his lack of affection for you? Would he commit to looking after you if needed? Would you trust him to make the right decisions for you if you were incapacitated? If the answer is yes then that’s great but if you’re unsure you need to consider what would happen in that scenario.

You may benefit from some individual therapy to help you work out what it is you want.

albie1 · 15/06/2024 22:20

I just wanted to say to you NZdreaming how much I appreciate your thoughtful and considered responses… food for thought for me 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

OP posts:
NZDreaming · 01/02/2025 11:04

@albie1 hope things have improved or that you at least have more clarity on your situation since once last year.

StaxAttacks · 01/02/2025 11:10

Can you explain more about the difficult time with your son? Where are things now with that?

What has he said in therapy? What is he looking for here?

username299 · 01/02/2025 11:14

It seems as though the betrayal your husband felt ten years ago has changed his feelings towards you.

We can change how we feel about someone in an instant and it's very difficult to get back those feelings.

You've tried counselling and it hasn't rekindled things. You could accept your redefined relationship and resign yourself to living like housemates. Lots of people do for various reasons.

Your husband seems happy with the status quo or at least he hasn't said he wants to end things.

I wouldn't want a celibate relationship and need intimacy. However, I'm not you. Have a think about your options.

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