Just been left, going to lose my job, please help

[FajitaFriday]

I didn’t know where to post this. I’m sorry I’m panicking and in a total state. My partner has literally just left me and our young daughter. I work night shifts and he would obviously be here with her while I worked. I don’t know what the hell to do!! I don’t have anyone else who can stay with her while I work. I’ve called my work just now and arranged for one of my managers to call me when they get in at 4am so I can explain why I won’t be in tonight. I just don’t know what to do or where to turn. Even if I could work he’s taken the car we share (well, it’s his, not mine) I’m so frightened. I’ve only got £90 to last me until the 23rd, we shared both our wages and he earns a lot more than me. Im so scared

Get a UC claim in asap.

any relatives to help with nights? Assuming you ex will also want to see dd so he can still do some nights as his contact time.

can you swap to days?

No I don’t have anyone. He’s walked out with nowhere to stay. And if/when he does I don’t see him having her overnight in the week because of his job. I do deserve for him to leave me but it feels so unfair and frightening that I’m losing everything as well as him. I will beg my manager if I can change my hours to during school hours but I’m not sure it will be feasible. So broken right now I don’t think my life could get any worse. Thank you for replying

I don’t have any advice, but I really do hope you’re doing as well as you can right now and things will get better 🩷

Get signed off rather than go unpaid.
Tell your boss you are extremely stressed and it is making you too sick to work.
It must be hard to get night cover but if you did UC could pay for the majority of the cost.
Whatever happens you will be okay - take it a step at a time and seek phone advice from Gingerbread.

definitely arrange Child Support payments and UC. Try not to panic until you’ve spoken to your manager- they might surprise you with how sympathetic they can be. I know it’s scary now but you WILL be okay ❤️‍🩹 sending hugs

Thank you everyone for your replies. I’m going to tell my manager the whole truth and hope they understand and allow me some time off sick rather than me jumping straight to abandoning my job or trying to change my shifts. In all honesty I couldn’t even leave the house right now I’m in such a state let alone try to work. Maybe if I can buy myself a week he could change his mind and maybe we can fix this. Or try and start to. I just don’t know. He was very final when he left and I didn’t try to stop him because I didn’t want our daughter to hear yet another argument. He has said he’s leaving me in the past and not left me but this time is different, I can feel it - that’s why I’m so scared.

OP I understand how you feel and how scared you are
im assuming he made no comments about childcare or money when he left?
If he comes back and you manage to match things up you need to work on independence, save up an emergency fund , change work hours so you are not in this situation again. 23 rd is only a week away, do you have any food in the cupboards and freezer you can use until then?

Why do you feel that you deserve for him to leave you @FajitaFriday?

What sort of a man leaves his child in a situation whereby their mother has hardly any money to look after them and can no longer work?

I took it as.. she doesn't deserve such a shit bag so its better not to be in a relationship with him, but the practicalities mean she needs him to be there to care for daughter so she can work.

@Ifyoucouldreadmymindlove is right. No decent man would leave his family in such a situation. It's unforgivable.

Tell your manager the truth. Try to get a sick note for stress, to buy yourself some time. You aren't the first person this has happened to.

Put in UC and CM claims immediately. Research childcare options close to your work. Think about how you will get there. Focus on practicalities. If he looked after her overnight before, why not now?

What about parents or relatives. Anyone who can come and help for a week or two while you get sorted.
If it really won't work, can you and little one move home. Find another job?
As others have said, in the future, always have an emergency reserve in your name. Never ever rely on a man.

So sorry this is happening to you. But you'll cope xx

Don't take him back, financially you can sort yourself out but it'll be a tricky couple of weeks.

Today,
GP appointment for stress and to get signed off from work, ask for referrals to food bank to help with money situation
Contact work, explain situation and inform them of sick leave, request change to hours
Apply to the CMS
Apply for UC and a bridging loan
If change in hours is not possible look for another role

Do not take him back, someone who leaves their child high and dry in the middle of the night is not a good father. DO NOT get back with him for money or convenience. If you have lots of arguments then this isn't a healthy dynamic and your child will benefit from the split.

Do not text him today and do not open any texts from him. Get some headspace.

You will both be fine, it's just going to be a tricky few weeks but you can get through it.

I’m going to tell my manager the whole truth and hope they understand and allow me some time off sick

It's not for your manager to decide this. You need to self certify for a week and get an appointment with your GP for a sick note.

Yep I'd follow this. Get signed off asap, that will buy you some time.

How’s things today OP? I hope your okay lovely xx

I agree. Don't put this all on your manager to decide. Phone in sick until you can get a sick note from the Drs. Then start your UC claim. If he's done this once, he can do it again. Get yourself sorted as a single parent.

I do deserve for him to leave

What do you mean OP?

How are you doing OP? hope you are ok