Opinions/who started?!

[Confusedinlove7]

Hi everyone I would love to hear other people's take on these messages who started an arguement? What do you think this means. I'll add that found out about the reps through a group chat where he had posted telling his friends about it and another girls states she had to listen to him whinging about it at 7 am. Did he start the arguement and over reacting or did I by saying you didn't tell me?!

100%!!!!! Imagine calling your partner a little narc.

Lol, just saw more of the conversation, it's gym reps! So he didn't tell you about reps at the gym? Yea, he's right to think you are odd for needing to, why would it be worth a mention? Sounds like White has trust issues so even mundane dtuff needs to be discussed with her. She's not happy finding anything out about him via other means, like a group chat, wants chapter and verse first hand? Sounds tedious.

I'd say you started the argument OP, but to be honest you both sound fairly unpleasant to be around.

I pity your kids.

You both sound like toxic immature teenagers tbh. Your communication skills are below poor.

Brown is passive aggressive, needy, nit picking and annoying

White is openly aggressive, rude and doesn’t know how to deal with Brown’s behaviour in a mature way so tries to shut it down with insults

Brown started it by text but white may have started it by being ‘moody’ prior to this message exchange

Christ alive. You are both too immature to be in a relationship, let alone have a kid.

🙈

And for the love of god, it’s ‘you’re’ or ‘your’, not ‘ur’. And ‘are’ not ‘r’. I couldn’t tolerate getting messages from someone who texts like it’s 1998.

You probably need to dripfeed more background info. Your communication style is vague. Sounds like being oversensitive . If your son is ill, and he's in a mood because of it, then it's the situation not you.

I have no idea what's going on.. what the hell are reps? You both sound as bad as each other to be honest

I think she was born long after 1998.

"Sounds like White has trust issues so even mundane stuff needs to be discussed with her. She's not happy finding anything out about him via other means, like a group chat, wants chapter and verse first hand? Sounds tedious."

This. I agree.

So you have a child with this person.
He was moody BC the child was off sick, so why did you ask him if he had the hump with you?
And why would you mention some minor gym exercise he did, only to say that he should have told you about it previously, even though you already knew? His response about you being a narc shows his anger and general disrespect for you. Honestly I wouldn't be with either of you I'm afraid.

Maybe she is a narc?

Maybe he feels suffocated by her.

Maybe "I'm done with you and your stupid games" means he is done with it.

@pictoosh what, they've gone from a semi normal conversation to him breaking up with her over text within 5 messages? It seems like this is just how they talk to each other, quite sad really.

Well it's just a snatch of something isn't it?
Not much by way of context to go on.

I think both are in the wrong if I'm honest. He's really blunt, and has gone from 0-100 with his reaction. I'm assuming you were just looking for some reassurance that he wasn't in a mood with you (I've got a feeling it runs deeper than him just missing a kiss on a text). If I asked my partner if he was in a mood with me, because there was no kisses (not that we always put them to be fair) or because his messages were blunt, he would reply either telling me what was wrong..or would reassure me and apologise for being blunt. Same the other way around. With the rep comment - it does sound like you were being a bit shitty with him for not telling you - but surely he doesn't report everything he did in the gym? I think you're both not communicating very well and both seem quite annoyed very easily by each other. Is it usually like this? Is it like this face to face or just over text? Is this a one off?

I’m not trying to be mean but I really think you both need to learn to communicate properly and respectfully.

Just say what you mean in full sentences and actually read, take in and think about the messages you are sending and receiving before you send/respond to them.

You both come across like you don’t respect eachother and don’t know how to communicate. The brown messages (I assume you) come across like you are insecure and need to know minute details about your partners everyday life. This is not healthy and needs to be addressed properly. White (I assume your partner) comes across like he has no respect for you at all, is not sensitive to your neediness, is sick of arguing and having to answer to minute details about his life and incredibly immature in his approach to expressing his frustrations.

I do not see this relationship having any future unless you seriously address your communication styles and let go a little bit and start commanding respect from your partner

OMG just childish nonsense. Neither of you are mature enough for a relationship and you should definitely not be together. Your poor child sitting in the middle of this absolute crud.

I will be honest - I am trying to divorce my husband and we communicate exactly like that.

I am white and he would be brown - I am so quick to anger because I have to defend everything I do. He is obsessive with looking for anything he can twist into a “sign I might cheat”

So I can imagine being so quick to call him out.

BUT I am probably just projecting there. Either way this doesn’t look like a happy relationship.

I couldn't be arsed with brown for one second. Sorry op, but it's so tiring to be with someone so needy.

It still could be.

The dark brown is top one and the other one is in the top five.
Whose ego is bigger? We would need to see more conversations. I assume you are both very young to be talking to each other like that.
Regardless who are you if you are not happy just move on.
That conversation on its own is pretty toxic.

Just the fact that you're posting to ask "who started it?" shows a real lack of emotional maturity. Playing the blame game is never conducive to relationships.

It doesn't actually matter who started it. What matters is that this is a deeply unhealthy relationship dynamic. You don't communicate well together. Your communication style is very passive aggressive and indirect. Your partner's communication style is very angry and aggressive. You both seem to push each other's buttons.

Brown is childish, sulky, unclear what their gripe is. White sounds irritated with white, possibly because this stuff happens a lot. I'd say - started by brown, in answer to your question. And white has had enough.