Normal behaviour?

[lastdandelion]

If your partner/husband went abroad alone and went back to a lads (someone he met whilst on holiday) hotel room because the bar had shut and in that room was other drunk people and a woman got her breasts out and another guy naked. How would you feel about this?

I’d be horrified and I’d wonder how drunk the half naked woman was and whether she was capable of consenting to showing her breasts to a group of men.

I would expect my husband to leave immediately but not before ensuring the safety of the woman.

I think you posted about him going away and making a load of friends immediately didn't you? I thought then that I wouldn't trust him an inch and I think it again now.

I really worry for the woman in that situation.

As above. That's awful

Came here to say this!

I'd be pissed at my husband sure but I'd also be very concerned about a drunk woman stuck with a bunch of louty laddish men. There is no way she can consent to anything in that state.

I would hope he made sure the woman was ok. Did you ask him? Didn’t you say in another post you were going to dump him when he came hone?

I'd be worried that if this is the sort of thing my partner is telling me happened - what on earth happened that he's NOT telling me about.

Why did he go on holiday on his own int he first place and then meet up with a group of randoms??

Depends if it was a swinging holiday/ hotel/ destination but can't say it's an average night out. 😂

I haven't posted about this before so am sorry if people are confusing this with another members post. Didn't get chance to ask anymore last night. He seems to think lots of people do this and nothing wrong with it. Said he's not going to tell someone he met on holiday he can't got back to their room because his misses said no. Just struggling as it's not something I would do if on holiday.

If he's telling you this behaviour is normal and "lots of people" do this then he's trying to gas light you.
What he was involved in on this holiday is unacceptable for someone in a relationship and he knows it.

If your DH thinks that is normal acceptable behaviour where exactly does he draw the line at what is unacceptable? What else happened that he is not telling you about?

I would be seriously making plans to end the marriage.

Wonder why he mentioned it at all. Sounds like an orgy, I hope he strapped it up before he slapped it up.

Not sure where people are getting the idea a woman can't consent to getting her boobs out? The post said in the room were drunk people and a woman got her breasts out. It doesn't say the woman was one of the drunk people.

Would be completely unacceptable to me.

I'd understand my husband (who is a conflict-avoiding introvert and a big softie) not knowing what to do and maybe being too overwhelmed to react appropriately, being afraid to offend anyone. He'd most likely freeze and shut down and hate every minute he spent there. But he'd also be calling me, begging for my forgiveness the minute he made it out of that situation. That would be somewhat forgivable to me.

Your husband seems to think what he did was okay. If this had been his barely adult daughter in that room, or his sister, would it still be okay?
What a pervert. I'd be rethinking this relationship.

Of course she can consent to getting her boob's out. For all we know from the information given the woman could have been a stripper or sex worker even. But if she is in a room with an unspecified number of drunk men it makes her sound vulnerable. OP says one if the men was naked so tbh you have no idea what was going on.

Thinking about it, fellas sometimes "re-word" certain situations so they sound less bad. He possibly went home with a mixed bunch of people and there was no naked guy, but that was mentioned to deflect the girl with her boobs out, who probably was naked. I doubt there was just one girl in a room with a load of men. The strange thing is why he'd mention it at all, as you were hardly going to say wow that sounds like fun, I hope you had a great time!

He sounds like he's 12 years old. And I HATE the phrase "the misses" it's so derogatory.