Aftermath of an argument

[Cloakanddagger101]

My husband and I had an argument last night, nothing serious but he upset me and it wasn’t resolved before he went off to bed.

He tried to be normal with me today but I wasn’t engaging in conversation with him as I’m still upset by the argument and I guess I was waiting for an apology.

As he leaves for work he tells me that me being off with him today just means he will be off with me for months.

This really hasn’t sat well with me and I’m not sure how to react. Any thoughts?

Wow what a nasty threat.

He could have said, look we need to sort this out! Clear communication without attack.

Ignore his threat and say you need to have a proper discussion about the argument and work through it. Tell him you feel hurt and need an apology. He can express what he feels then.

His reaction is very troubling though. It’s such an extreme thing to say.

This is really unhealthy conflict resolution for both of you. You should not stonewall him. If you still can’t get past the issue then tell him that in the morning, in a non-combative way. Don’t try to entice apologies out of someone with grumpy silence – communicate. He also obviously should not respond to your stonewalling with threats of extended mirrored behaviour.

You said it wasn't a serious argument, so he probably assumed everything was normal again, you were the one giving him silent treatment rather then say, I'm still not happy about last night, can we resolve it, when home tonight from work.

He was just being as childish as you.

What was the argument? Him cheating on you… okay to be frosty in the morning.

Him not putting the bins out… you’re unreasonable and he’s just one upping you and you’re both being unreasonable.

(I know this isn’t AIBU, but old habits die hard!)

why didn't you speak to him about the argument and the disagreement, rather than just stonewall him? he is right, this will be remembered long term, but because of your behaviour, he obviously thought it was over and done with, but you didn't communicate - how is he going to know you are expecting an apology? Maybe he thinks he has been all generous and forgiving, letting you off without asking you for one?

I can't stand when people just pretend everything is normal after a row - nothing gets resolved if you just pretend it never happened. But IMO stonewalling and sulking and 'waiting for an apology' is even more frustrating.

It seems like neither of you handle conflict well and it sounds quite toxic. Instead of being the only grown up in this relationship, he's threatened to fight fire with fire and stonewall you right back.

And now you're on MN whining that it 'doesn't sit well with you' when you helped cause this whole mess.

Ignoring and refusing to speak to someone is highly abusive. I was brought up with it .

if it wasnt a serious argument why are you holding a grudge the next day?

life's too short - move on, stop being petty.

What was the argument? If it wasn’t major why were you ignoring him? Is this normal communication style between the two of you?

Eurgh, faults on both sides perhaps but i cant understand women who want an utterly meaningless apology before they will play ball. He's probably right to be pissed off playing your games.