How long do you date before getting married

[Nursenicole911]

I was wondering what the general time life for people these days when a two people start dating for a while. What is the time frame for moving in then getting married. I know every case is different. I know this might sound old fashioned but I really want to settle down and get married especially now that I'm in my mid 50's. We are together 4 days a week, are both paying mortgages , etc... Cost of living is comparable to living in New York City. Kids are gown; It makes sense financially and of course you always have that person as a companion and someone to grow old with that has your back. I know people these days are just moving in together without marriage. I'm in the states so am not sure what parts of the world do these days.
Thanks in Advance

I don't know the average meet-to-marry time frame. But it takes a while to get to know someone quite well, i.e. how they react in different situations, with different people, etc.

It sounds as if you want to get married because it saves on mortgage costs and you will have a companion as you age.
Well, yes and no.
If I were in my mid-50's with children on either side, I would get a pre-nup. It's not romantic, but marriage is a legal and financial contract as well as a personal one, and at that age financial security and testamentary arrangements have to be rock-solid.

Also, it is wonderful to have a companion as you age. But things happen as the years go by, and a companion may become a carer.

What I would not do is move in without marrying - there is no protection against anything.
Good luck with whatever you decide!

I think it depends on many circumstances. I am also mid fifties, with 2 kids and whilst I am married, if I became single I would never marry again, as I would want to preserve my own financial independence and my children’s inheritance.

Also it depends on your age, circumstances etc. I started dating my DH in my mind thirties, so we only dates 2 years before getting married, whereas in my twenties there’s no way I would have dated someone for that short a time before getting married.

length of time of relationship doesn’t really dictate action, it’s more circumstantial.

How long have you been together?

depends on your age. my brother (bachelor still at 42) met the love of his life who was a single woman of 40. both professionals.

his betrothed was from spain and a devout catholic. engaged within the year and married the next.

For us...

Living together - 4 years
Married - 8 years
Kids - 10+ years

But we were at university when we got together so age and finances were definitely factors. We're late 30s now.

One year from first date to wedding day. About to celebrate our 18th wedding anniversary. I'm sure people thought we were mad, but we were in our mid-30s and knew what we wanted.

18 months from first date to marriage but we were early thirties and wanted children. Engaged after 12 weeks, married 25 years.

In our 40s, we were engaged after six months, married a year later, together now very happily 20+ years.

I think it's different when you're older. There's no rush to get married and settle down so you can have children. You're also financially independent so I'm not sure I would want to give that up.

I did get married after 10 months of dating though. We also didn't live together before we were married either.

3 weeks! fucking stupid idea, no idea what we were thinking, but somehow it's worked

For us moved in together after just over a year, married on the anniversary of our second date. But other peoples time frame doesn’t matter, you need to do what feels right to both of you.

19 monthes

6 months from meeting to marrying 😂😂😂😂 ... just coming up to our 11th anniversary.

Met my DH in 2013 and married 8 years later.
Moved in together after a year and had 2 kids in between though.

Moved in after 3 months, baby after 5 married after 6. Go figure.

Nearly 3 years, but we got engaged and moved in together after 2 and DH was working abroad for the first year we were dating

Makes sense for who financially? Maybe your partner doesn't want to marry someone he has only been with for under 2 years so that his money is protected as future inheritance for his children.

Seek legal advice before you marry in order to protect yourself in the event of divorce. And to protect any inheritance you may want to leave your own kids. Otherwise if your husband outlives you he may not do as you would wish and your kids could end up with nothing.

Sorry to be negative on your thread! It's just a valid point. I've never married as I worked hard for my stuff and I'm not giving half away in a divorce or having my wishes ignored after my death.

In my social circles it’s the kind of thing that is likely to be longer when you are young and still studying/building a career, shorter when you are around 30 and wanting children, then longer if older and have more complicated finances to merge and old age comfort to gamble away.

Moved in after 3, married after 6 (although covid delayed that by about a year), having first baby just before 8 years.

Age 29/36.

Met September for first date.

Moved in together February.
Engaged April.
Married twelve months later.
Baby 1 two years later.
Babies 2-3 four years later.
Still happy 5 years later.

I think it’s totally dependant on the relationship and what suits you. If it’s stable and you’re happy go for it, if not wait until you are comfortable.

I dated for 9 months then moved in together, married after 3 years. Unfortunately didn’t last!

We got married 5 months after meeting. DH was 23 and I was 25. Been married 44 years now, no children

We are both mid/late 50s, no kids, mortgage paid off. We got married after 2 years. We decided we wanted to make the most of what we had found and wanted to be married.