My DH and I both work freelance juggling lots of contracts and earn about the same. Busy times may involve extra days or evenings of work. I generally know a couple of weeks in advance when my busy times are going to be and try to make arrangements for DH to cover a few extra bits like cooking and more school runs.
It is starting to bug me that my DH always seems to also make himself busy at the same time. He becomes a bundle of stress trying to do a load of extra stuff every time I also have a big project. Its like me having a deadline suddenly triggers him to set deadlines.
It's not like he doesn't want to do the domestic load. He is always saying that he wants to spend more time with children and really enjoys this when he gets into it. He just seems to be programmed to be unable to let go of his 'breadwinner' role.
Latest one is he has an unpaid professional development project he wants to finish - I have a 2-week work project that requires me to work extra hours. There is no deadline for the professional development project. He has been doing it for 9 months and can finish whenever. But we are now negotiating over every half hour of the day.
Has anyone managed to sort this sort of situation out? How do I get him to let go of his stuff when I need the time??