Bad husband

[MelodyWife123]

So I’m 33 weeks pregnant and have a 15 year old from a prev relationship and an 18 month old with my husband. We have been together for 3 and a half years.

I don’t think he really wants to be with me or be a family?
Whenever I talk to him he has zero interest in what I’m saying, it’s like I’m boring to him. He doesn’t engage in anything to do with the new baby, when I talk to him. He sits on his game on his phone constantly and messages his friends. It’s like he has zero interest in me or anything I say.
we don’t do a thing together; we don’t kiss, cuddle, have sex…. Literally we are room mates.
i do most of the stuff in the house and with the kids. It all seems like a chore to him. Again he sits in his phone while I play with the 18month old, and never wants to come when I take him out and if he does there’s always an issue.
hes a very negative man, and to be honest he thinks hes better than everyone and that he deserves the best things in life due to having a high earning job that pays for our lovely holidays every year.
i actually pay half of all household bills and think i buy more for the kids and house than him, while he buys cars, motorbikes, watches, jewellery and other crap for himself. It kinda makes me resentful as I have to literally scrape through every payday, and he knows this.
Despite all this. He is decorating our home and doing renovation bits and buying everything needed for the baby.
What does others think of this? Please dont judge, just want to hear what other would do.

What made you decide to have a second child with him, after seeing him with the first?

It doesn't sound like there's any advantage to you in being with him. Could you afford to separate?

This baby wasn’t actually planned tbh. Im not sure I could afford to leave, as I genuinely would be scrapping the barrel every month and it would be very hard and a real struggle.

How does "buying everything needed for the baby" go with " I buy more for the kids"? You are contradicting yourself there.
Sounds like it's a case of jumping fully in too soon, before you really knew him. He's probably always been like this in relationships, you didn't give it long before having a baby and getting married.
Saving grace, high earner means higher cm, you'd probably get more money put of him by splitting and not struggle every month. But if your house is lovely, I guess you could choose to put up with him for that, and the holidays (might as well look for a bit on the side in that case).
Probably not just texting friends, look for others.

So he’s brought all the stuff for the new baby, but the standard clothes, food, school stuff, standard daily things I buy for the kids, is paid for by me.

What about just telling him 'this is what you need to contribute'.

'I need you to buy xyz'.

'Are you not ashamed of yourself letting your pregnant wife pay so so much? You can buy all the jewelry you want for yourself but everyone knows it means shit all if you don't even take care of your own family. I think you should go stay with your mother for now and decided whether or not you want to be part of this household. If you want to come back, I expect you to contribute propporinately to your income'.

Don't take any shit.

And look into how much child support you'd get for two kids if you left him. Get proof of his income and put it somewhere safe like your parents house.

Chances are you'll get more from child support than he currently pays.

Why oh why do women tie themselves down and continue to reproduce with men who are obviously not suitable/interested and generally bastards. They're then surprised when they're stuck, penniless and with 2 or three of his offspring in tow. Just why?

So do you communicate?

You ask people not to judge but give their opinion and then say you can't leave.

You've gotten into the situation
So look around at your resources and make a plan.

I have tried to communicate but he isn’t interested and shuts me down. Thanks ginasevern, I’m aware how stupid I am… just wanted to see if others would stick around or leave. I’m aware I have totally gotten into this myself and as someone else has commented, I clearly rushed into it. I thought it was right and obviously it isn’t.

How do you communicate?
What do you say?
Don't drop it. Let him shut down and then be there. Pushing and pushing and pushing for a resolution.

I think it depends what you want. I doubt he will change. Can you imagine a fullfilling life with friends, hobbies and the kids with him? I know lots of women who would take a sexless monied life (especially with young kids) as long as he wasn't trying to limit them. Or you might think that's not what you want in a relationship. Or just looking at him might send you into a rage.