I need to be strong

[Longtimeuser]

Hi all. Would love a bit of perspective on something and hopefully some strength to do what I know I need to do.

I've been with my DP for a year. We got together very soon after my marriage broke down (no overlap) and I've known him a few years.

We don't live together (my exh is still living here.. a whole other story). Things started great but things aren't so great now.

Trying now to dripfeed but he has a habit of leaving me, physically walking away from me because he is mad or something is bothering him. So he walked away from me one night in a local city and left me on the street on my own. I had a 20 minute walk in the dark to get my car (his car was parked near mine but he stormed ahead), last weekend we were in a pub with my friends... I was talking to someone and I noticed he was gone, I looked for him for 30 minutes and then phoned him, he said he was a grown ass man and had gone for a walk, last night we went for a walk together and he left me on my own again and walked home because I pulled him up on a few things. He really insulted me last night with the cruelest insult he could give me. I haven't spoken to him since.

I know I am am done with this. I'm worth more than that. I just need somewhere I can post about it, where people remind me that I am doing the right thing.

I deserve so much better but I do love him. That's what makes it hard. For every shitty thing he does, he does 5 amazing things but they aren't enough. My self esteem is in the gutter right now

A horrible mind can pretend to to be lovely.

A lovely man would not pretend to be horrible and would not behave in a horrible way.

Gosh, I have never thought of that, but it's so true!

That has stuck with me too actually.

Still staying strong.

I'm usually not strong and have a lot of self doubt but f that today. I deserve better.

I will be going to that talk tonight by myself and I'm looking forward to it

He sounds like a real charmer,I think I would run x

So more messages wanting to talk when I am available or ready to. I haven't responded.

Need to stay strong... need to stay strong. I am worth more than this and my sons need to see that I don't put up with bad behaviour in a relationship

You are mighty. Do not cave. He is trying to hoover you back.

This thread has given me a lot to think about especially the lovely men don’t behave horribly just horrible men pretend to be lovely. So this thread is changing lives! Let it change yours!

Thank you so much to everyone who posted here. I went to the event on my own and I'm having a Good time.

I am proud of how well.i have done... honestly if you knew me, I suffer with low self.esteem... although I'm a fantastic person who has achieved a lot of what I set out to do in life. I was confident, happy and funny.. I changed a lot in the last year... not just from his influence but I've gone through a lot in the last year... I'm a shell of who I was.... I can get back there, I know I can.

For every shitty thing he does, he does 5 amazing things but they aren't enough.

It's dog training. He's giving you treats so you behave how he wants. But you aren't a dog. You are a grown-up, strong, effective woman who doesn't take any shit. From this second forward. Believe it, or fake it until you make it, and it will be true.