I wanted to add a little balance here - Man in my 40s here - divorced, 2 kids, good career and 3 years post divorce from LTR. Spent a lot of time working on my own stuff, Im emotionally available and have actually learned a lot about slowing down and being vulnerable - something that I hear a lot of guys cant/wont/dont do.
I did the OLD thing - Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble - all where shocking. Im good looking, physically fit and take care of myself well (im active and in the gym). Im a musician and quite often play shows, and Ive built a life I love.
And yet - I get quite a lot of matches, and very rarely do I find one I actually seem interested in, its all roast dinners and sunday walks. Seems like everyone uses the same script on the apps and its hard to find the right person that fits you.
I hear so many stories about dysfuncitonal man child blokes in thier 40's, even on a few dates ive had and the stories really are shocking.
BUT...
We arent all like that. I had a 7 month relationship with someone post divorce, we met on FB dating, and it was incredible (while it lasted). It ended due to her overwhelm and divorce that was still ongoing, very sad but I learned a lot.
Since then I dated a couple of women, one from Tinder and one from meeting in a pub. Lovely women but ultimately not for me. The OLD experience I had was...... basically getting ghosted, or having a bit of back and forth, some banter, followed by them completely vanishing off the face of the earth.
Ultimately, I decided it was taking too much of a toll and stepped back. Im actually quite enjoying my life solo, and ive put dating on the back burner for the time being.
My advice - take it slow, and keep you BS filter turned on the max, and most importantly stay safe!