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Lovebombed/cut off

1 reply

abcdefg123455 · 11/06/2024 13:21

Hi everyone,

Not too sure why posting just am quite confused and wanted to see others experiences I guess. I met someone on online dating who really clicked with, we actually know quite a lot of mutual people which I think helped to feel I knew him a bit more etc. it became quite full on (mainly from his side) and was seeing each other for about 4 months around 3 nights a week together and speaking a LOT the rest of the time. Didn't really see any problems, was having fun etc, I was a lot more reserved than him until more recently when I did start to actually quite like him and get some feelings. Once this shift happened it has all changed 😂 is this typical? One weekend around a month ago he said was unwell, fair enough, but has never gone back to how it was, became distant with contact, cancelled plans, became quite Moany and said it's my fault and I have become too full on! I believe he loved bombed me! He was the one who said a lot of things, but I never took that seriously as often we would of had a drink etc when he was saying things like knew I would be the one he lives with/Marrys, he put a lot of effort into everything, never let me down, was probably over keen and quite possessive asking me almost straight away to focus on him not date or talk to others, about 4 months I started to get more feelings and made it a bit clearer, since then it's just gone to him not caring, not asking plans, we've text minimally since then as I'm hardly contacting him now but on a few occasions I have, he will reply, but say he's under stress and he goes like his into himself and quiet when he's like that, I mean he wanted to meet my teenage son just before this! I don't really understand, I'm kind of over it and feel it's a bit pathetic to have said a lot of rubbish like this, feel it's unneeded but why does this happen? Did he just go off me? He was drunk a few night ago and text me, and was full on again, saying adored me, he gets like this etc, then since then minimal again! I'm definitely not interested as seems childish and I don't like the hot and cold but just can't understand the reason behind the lying! I would of been happy to see him without all the fakeness so don't understand. Can't pinpoint anything that changed, except from once or twice after he had been quiet for a couple of weeks I asked if he had gone off me and to say, and he got a bit angry, said no, said I'm too intense, just for asking that, when he was the one to change almost overnight so after that I stopped asking or initiating contact and here we are. Is this common, was I wrong or intense to ask when I could feel a big shift? Maybe made me come across needy or keen. I'm glad I said no to a meal with my son as was too soon. I've quite got over it now but it's still annoying.

Thanks

OP posts:
Thelnebriati · 11/06/2024 13:30

I'm glad I said no to a meal with my son as was too soon.

You wrote this at the end of your post, almost as a throwaway - but the fact you said no to him about something might be the clue to why he has gone cold on you.
Don't take this personally, but all the love bombing and intensity at the start didn't mean he actually liked you. It was all a test, he was looking for someone he could manipulate. As soon as you said 'no' you stopped being an attractive option.
There are other clues in your post; he got intense and wanted to be exclusive early on, he got angry with you for asking questions.

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