Came out of a 10yr relationship and after a year and a half of being single got involved with a guy I knew from work. We had a casual thing for 5 months or so, until he moved jobs. He was clear he didn't want the casual thing to continue after the move which I was sad about but respected. I didn't ever have romantic feelings for him or want a relationship but enjoyed our FWB set up.
I was prepared to have no contact with him after he moved and to draw a line. But since he moved jobs he has alternated between no contact at all for months at a time, to messaging almost daily which culminates in us meeting up and sleeping together. He then goes cold again and the cycle repeats.
Each time I steel myself for it to be 'properly over'. I've gone through about 4 rounds of being sad about it ending. The final time we slept together was a couple of weeks ago. I finally confronted him yesterday about his behaviour and he has now said he was selfish to sleep with me when he didn't want our FWB thing to continue, and he won't contact me again. I guess that's the correct outcome but I feel really sad today. Ultimately it seems I'm sad that the man I've allowed to use me, is not going to do that anymore.
Where is my self respect? I want to do online dating when the dust settles but can only feel I'll be an absolute liability based on my behaviour with this guy.