Hi everyone,
So me and boyfriend have been together 12yrs, have a mortgage, and a 1yr old daughter.
He is Spanish, I am British. We both have different eating habits but enjoy eachother food from time to time.
The issue is he has decided he wants to buy and cook all his own food now. My diet can be unhealthy at times, but so can his, and get he doesn't want to be 'influenced'.
I want to simply do a weekly shop together - buying all the common items we need as a family (eggs, bread, veggies, baby stuff) then put whatever we both like in the basket.
He would rather not do that and has now put less money in the joint account, and started to buy all his own food and cook for himself. This obviously isn't sustainable because we need to buy food for the house, and need to cook (I cook) food for our daughter, and I still put the same money in the account...
It's becoming a real strain, with him now putting labels on food and separating cupboards, and me now having to 'ask' for one of 'his 'bananas if we run out.
It was making me really depressed, as if we were housemates and not a family, and we keep running out of money in the joint account meaning I have to then spend my own money on food for me and daughter. On to of that, I have to plan the big shop at the beginning of the month and bulk buy nappies and food for our daughter, because I know the money will run out by week 2. It's exhausting.
His argument is, he wants to have full control of his own diet. I suggested we eat our own things through the week, and eat together as a family at weekends instead, but he doesn't want that either.
He keeps going to buy himself food and lunch and nice fish from the fishmongers, and not offering it to us.
I think he is rebelling because he doesn't like my cooking and wants to loose weight and not be influenced by me. It's confusing because I then find chocolate in the bin, irn bru cans hidden in the car, I think he has a stress eating issue. I really don't know what to do as not only is this making the house a sad place to be, we don't eat together enough, and my poor wee daughter will grow up watching her parents buy and eat food in weird ways.
He kicked off this morning because there was no breakfast in the house, when last week we went to Morrisons and spent £80 on 2 bags of shopping I knew wouldn't' last, whereas Aldi or Lidl would be more economical. But he hates them and likes better quality. He wants the food to be quick and easy to make, but I found an apple, some porridge and walnuts, to make breakfast, so was really confused.
I might add he earns double than me and has a higher / more quality taste in foods, whereas I don't mind the yellow-ticket items or Aldi sometimes.
We did Hello Fresh for a while which worked so well but he wanted to stop as was sick of it.
Before our daughter, I mainly did the shopping, but now finances are tight for me the quality has had to be sacrificed a wee bit.
I am so sad about the whole situation and its causing arguments. I just don't see why we can't put a sum of money in the account that covers everything, based off our average spending the last year say, and just buy one weekly shop from there and plan it out - even if he does want his own meals sometimes I don't mind.
It's as if he just wants to completely do his own thing and live like roommates, it's awful honestly. I prefer having us all eat together - but the financial difference between us is what's causing the issues I think.
Anyone else been in the same boat?