Not in a good place

[samsam2343]

I have 2 dc with Dp and he came home last week and told me he wants us out the house. I currently have a house that I rent out and unbeknown to me he issued the tenant with a section 21 a couple of weeks ago. Our relationship has not been great the past few years and tbh I am relieved because he threatens me most months telling me he is going to give the tenant notice if I do or say something he does not like. I've been living on tenterhooks begging him not to issue the notice for the past 5 years. The only thing that has stopped me from moving back is because it's a rough area and I did not want to bring my kids up there and he knows this. But he went and issued it anyway. I know we will be ok but just need a handhold and if anyone has been through something similar, how are you now.

Just leave. Pack your stuff and go. You'll thrive without that bully towering over you. Honestly you really will. Once you're out of the house a weight will be lifted from your shoulders.

The next clear day you have put in a CSM claim, block your ex after you tell him all communication is now to be done via a parenting app and go live your best life.

Thank you for replying. I know I will be ok, and have spent many years being threatened with being thrown out. Even though this is my house too. I just wouldn't be able to afford the mortgage on my own. It's been a really difficult few years and I kind have lost my confidence. It's just my kids, it's a really rough area and I kind of stayed here because it's a lovely area. But I need to put myself first. I need to not think too far ahead

Move out. Get in touch with your ex tennant and explain the situation. If it's not his house surely your ex has no right to serve anything?

It's both of our house. We bought it and rented it out together. That's why he issued him with a section 21 because he is the landlord too.

He said he will move into the house. But he knows I cannot afford this place on my own so knows my hand is being forced. Just a crappy situation. And I feel so bad for the tenant. He has been a lovely tenant the last 5 years. I feel awful on him.

What an unsafe life you have been living, time to get your house in order as they say.

That means living on your own with your children without this bullying piece of shit in your life.

So you know you can post here and we will all support you and give whatever advice we can to help you. It can be lonely doing what you are going to do, but just post something if you are feeling on your own when the children are safely tucked up in bed.
Even something good about your day that you want to share.
You can have a stress free life away from the bully you currently share it with. We are with you on this

Thank you for your lovely replies. Just woke up in a panic thinking how will I manage etc. I know we will be fine once we are in and settled. Its the likes of now when I am wide awake worrying. I don't like this part. I am just in shock at what he did. My 2 dc are the most loveliest kids and I think how can you knowingly do what you did, will result in your kids not living with you. I am not a bad person. Just in a bad relationship. I really appreciate everyone's replies.

Are you sure you cannot afford the mortgage without him? The first thing you need to do today is make an appointment to see a solicitor, use a free consultation option and speak to someone who is available to advise you asap. Your partner is a bully who has been taking advantage of you, there’s better life on the other side but you need to stay strong and call his bulshit now. Sending you hugs.

Thank you so much. I would not be able to afford this house. Plus I don't want to live here. I've never settled in this house. I will speak to a solicitor. I am just exhausted. I feel like I am back to square one. I know I will be happy I just need to get through this bit.

If you sell both houses and take out your share of equity could you afford somewhere in a nice area? He should pay child maintenance and you might be eligible for universal credit.

See a lawyer - you may be able to stay put for a while until both are sold, although it sounds like he is making your life awful. You certainly should be able to stay until the school year is finished.

I am thinking of selling the other house as for a start it's a 2 bed and I need a 3 bed. Just my brain feels like fog. We bought the other house a few years ago to rent out and it's not the best area. I am unsure what it will be like to live there. It might be ok, but it's not nice to drive through the estate.

You are co-owners of the house in the lesser neighborhood
You are co-owners of the house you're currently living in, but with a heavy mortgage.
Is that right?

That means your STBXH can't just go and live in one house, which you own half of, - mortgage/rent free- and expect you to pay the mortgage of the other house all on your own. That would mean you're paying off his half of the house as well.

I agree with previous posters. Sell both, get your share, and use that to get a place with a more affordable mortgage for you and your children.