Separated but under same roof. Mentally struggling

[washrinserepeat1]

DH served divorce papers in April but neither of us can afford to move out until the house is sold.
We have been waiting to tell DC for a variety of reasons but will be done in next couple of weeks.

DH is being utterly viscous on then totally blanks me unless it concerns practicalities and it's making me ill. I'm not sleeping or eating and having extreme panic attacks. Literally feel like I'm going mad especially with DC not being told.

Our house has an offer but we're not likely to complete until September and I don't know if my MH can stand it that long. I am also terrified that DC will hate me if I leave

I don't know what to do

I think you need to tell them, for your own sake.

*on one hand

I can't until exams are over

Can you just have a discussion with him or even send a text and say that you have accepted the divorce is happening but you don’t want it to end viciously and you would love it if you can both be civil with each other. You’ve obviously shared a lot of years and good times together, just because the marriage is now ending doesn’t mean you have to hate each other.

He blames me for all of this and that I checked out a long time ago. Obviously I have my own perspective.
It was reasonably amicable until a few weeks ago and it's like living with a stranger. We have been together over 30 years and I hate what this has become

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It seems that some men just flick a switch in their brains and there is no reasoning with them. All I can suggest for now is that you try and hide behind a breezy, don't -give-a-damn facade when you can't avoid him. Don't try and communicate beyond day to day practicalities. Don't show that you are upset by him. It's called grey rock. Give nothing, show nothing.
Not saying it will be easy but it sounds like he's taking perverse pleasure in punishing you. Don't give him the satisfaction, he might get bored.
As for the kids, they won't be oblivious, they will know something is not right, but you are right, they have exams and you can't dump this on them now.
Why will you be the one to leave, by the way? Will you leave the kids with your stbxh?

Do you work? Could you invent a work conference for a few days and go and stay in a cheap airbnb to get some space? When do exams end?

Thank you. Unfortunately no plausible excuse to go anywhere.
I'm really trying to find my inner anger or at least indifference but I can't. I feel in a pennant state of fear and worry even though I know divorcing is the right thing. He is so cold and viscous