Craving intimacy and affection

[SAHMummy24]

I have a partner we have been together for 5 years and have an almost 2 yo DS. I can't remember the last time we were properly intimate with real affection and love. We've not had proper sex for well over a year, since DS was born we've probably done it twice. I always ask why we don't anymore and is it because I've put on weight etc etc. he insists it's not that and he still finds me attractive and sexy but he said it's too much hard work, he's always tired and we never get the opportunity. Although he's quick to ask for me to give him oral or whatever and I get absolutely nothing. It's not even just the lack of sex that's getting to me, we don't kiss and cuddle much any more and I don't feel like I get any affection at all. I've been really craving intimacy, just someone to cuddle me and be close to and feel connected to. I'm not sure how to move forward in my relationship anymore without it. Any advice appreciated.

It sounds awful. If he won’t kiss you I definitely wouldn’t be giving him blow jobs. That’s really grim. Do you think it’s about your weight?

I feel like it might be as he did say to me once (a while ago) that it's hard work because I'm much bigger now than I used to be. (Just to add I'm not in denial about my weight gain, I've lost 2 stones this year and plan to lose more) But then when I've asked him again if he finds me ugly or disgusting he insists not and I'm inclined to believe him just because he is not the type of man to save feelings and he is not very tactful in nature.

It’s a common problem. Thing is, even if you lose the weight and he finds himself interested again, will you really feel the same about him, after he has repeatedly rejected you for several years?

I cannot imagine the brazen gall of the man to ask for oral and why on earth you would say, “sure honey” and get on wit it beats me! He just wants to use you for a release, that would give me the ick.

stop asking him if it is about your weight.

Although he's quick to ask for me to give him oral or whatever and I get absolutely nothing.
why would you do this if you dont so much as get a him from him? Are you even in the mood when he asks? Just say no

I guess it's maybe in the hope that I'll finally get something back.

Then say, ‘you go first’

Why are you freely giving him oral when there's no other sex life?

Please stand up for yourself. He is doing this because a. He’s not a decent man and b. You’re letting him.

Although he's quick to ask for me to give him oral or whatever and I get absolutely nothing. It's not even just the lack of sex that's getting to me, we don't kiss and cuddle much any more and I don't feel like I get any affection at all. I've been really craving intimacy,

sorry to say but it doesn’t sound like he likes you let alone finds you attractive. That is exactly the kind of behaviour abusive men in my social circle when younger would engage in when dealing with woman they didn’t like or respect. They would skip the kisses and demand oral.

I'd be investing into my self confidence and generally into myself and look into meeting my needs elsewhere. Please don't beg him for affection and love and no more giving BJ, until he actually shows you the love , intimacy and affection you deserve and actively reciprocates in bed

Next time he asks for an oral just tell him “no thanks love it’s to much hard work for now rewards, I’ll just do my own thing thanks “