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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Struggling to think of remaining in my relationship when I’m the scapegoat for my MIL and her dislike of me.

0 replies

Simplefoke · 09/06/2024 08:12

I posted and received some incredible advice about the dynamic of the relationship. It seems the conclusion was that she seems to have some unresolved trauma that’s made her project onto me her dislike. In normal circumstances I’d just distance myself and carry on with my own little family. This family are incredibly close.

My issue is I’ve my own trauma. I was neglected by my own mum, I then married into an emotionally and physically abusive relationship for 12 years. I’ve come an extremely long way but this now is just something I’m not sure I can integrate. It’s re-traumatising me. The feeling of not fitting in again, the having to go no contact and having this forever in my life. I’m becoming distant with my partner. I’m not sure what I can do. I just want to protect myself from these feelings again. I don’t want this kind of life where I’m having to negotiate with another persons issues.

I don’t know what to do? But it’s definitely effecting me in a negative way. People say get over it when it’s hard with all the past trauma of my own. I’m sick to death of being a scapegoat.

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