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Original poster

Partner going travelling

11 replies

Amicrazy12 · 09/06/2024 00:03

I have been with my partner for 3 years. Recently they have booked to go travelling for an unknown amount of time, and don’t see an issue with not having a plan for how long they will be away for, and also not letting me how long they will be away for. I am due to begin studying the same time they are going away travelling, and will be studying for 10 months with little holiday. It is unlikely I will be able to get out to visit them whilst they are away, and we will be in different time zones which will make communication difficult.
Do you think I am being unreasonable asking them to give me a rough idea of how long they will be away for?

OP posts:
toughsnoring · 09/06/2024 00:04

Amicrazy12 · 09/06/2024 00:03

I have been with my partner for 3 years. Recently they have booked to go travelling for an unknown amount of time, and don’t see an issue with not having a plan for how long they will be away for, and also not letting me how long they will be away for. I am due to begin studying the same time they are going away travelling, and will be studying for 10 months with little holiday. It is unlikely I will be able to get out to visit them whilst they are away, and we will be in different time zones which will make communication difficult.
Do you think I am being unreasonable asking them to give me a rough idea of how long they will be away for?

theyre no partner of yours .

NewName24 · 09/06/2024 00:04

YANBU for wanting to know the plan, no, but I wonder if you have a different expectation of the relationship from your 'partner'.

How old are you both, and do you live together ?

Throwawayme · 09/06/2024 00:04

I don't think it's unreasonable but also I'd not be waiting around for them to return and would call it a day

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/06/2024 00:09

I went away for almost a year in my early 30s and had a boyfriend at the time. No iPhones or anything. I didn't cheat, as far as I know he didn't, we stayed together for more than a year after. And I was madly in love with him but needed to do it.

However, no timescale, no plan, no acknowledgement of what a big deal it is... implies it's not a big deal to him. And if you are partners, it should be.

HeddaGarbled · 09/06/2024 00:17

How old are you both?

Opentooffers · 09/06/2024 00:50

I think this should be heralding the end of the relationship. It looks like he's being too chicken to say how long it will be because he knows it's going to be for a long period and doesn't want to have to deal with the conversation where it ends. Hoping to make an exit and do the slow fade. He's had the choice to make for a while, and he's chosen to go away knowing it means an end, he's kept you in the dark about it though. Maybe there were signs, around the time he was arranging it all, was your relationship going smoothly? Or, perhaps has he's always had a burning desire to travel, and nothing was going to disrupt his plans, not even you unfortunately? Not with you either, that's a kick in the teeth after 3 years.

Surprisedmystified · 09/06/2024 03:43

Agree with pp.
Best thing seems to be to have a frank discussion about whether it would be best to end your relationship. In the long run you would probably be happier if you both agreed to end things now as your lives seem to be taking divergent paths.

PaminaMozart · 09/06/2024 04:06

Assume he's done. Don't wait for him.

If he wanted to be your partner, you'd know it and wouldn't be asking this on MN.

Sorry, but better to rip off the plaster now instead of hoping that it will be alright.

StrawberryWater · 09/06/2024 04:12

Sounds like he's too cowardly to end things and is probably waiting for you to do it.

fiddlesticksohyeah · 09/06/2024 04:21

StrawberryWater · 09/06/2024 04:12

Sounds like he's too cowardly to end things and is probably waiting for you to do it.

Beat me to it

AlanBrendaCelia · 09/06/2024 09:43

He’s just broken up with you, but using different words to explain it.

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