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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Toxic family members not respecting no contact/harassment

3 replies

Startingagainandagain · 08/06/2024 15:57

I had a very poor relationship with my parents when growing up due to their abusive/toxic/controlling behaviour.

I moved to a different country as soon as I could to escape that environment and eventually went no contact.

However family members (who have never had a close relationship with and who I have not seen for 30 years) have constantly tried to ignore my wishes.

About 3 years ago they got hold of my phone number/address and would not stop calling me. I ended up changing my phone number and moving to a completely different town and no one knows my address now.

However today to my dismay one of them, a cousin, followed me on my Instagram account.

I have spent years in therapy and dealing with depression and even suicidal thoughts and dealing with the long term health issues (physical and mental) that my parents' neglect and behaviour caused and any reminder of that family still sends me into a tailspin.

I blocked that person immediately but I cannot come completely off social media as I am self-employed for part of my income and use it as a platform for my work/clients.

All my relatives live in different country so I can't even threaten them with a restraining order...

I want nothing whatsoever to do with these people ever again or hear about my remaining parent (my father died about 8 years ago).

As far as I am concerned they poisoned my childhood and a lot of my adulthood and I have no love whatsoever for any of them. No one supported me when it was obvious there were issues with me when I was a child and although they initially made supportive noises when I disclose my issues with my parents as an adult it soon reverted to suggesting I was making it up.

I wonder if other people have found themselves in that situation and how you have dealt with it?

I almost feel like I have to always live in fear that they will find me/contact me and frankly I am fed up with these people trying to force themselves into the life I worked so hard to build.

OP posts:
WhatASurprisee · 08/06/2024 21:56

Yes I have a sister who I'm NC with and haven't spoken to in 4 years who won't get the hint and keeps harassing me but different story as she lives 10 minutes from me and keeps turning up at my address etc but these people live in another country to you so I would honestly just ignore and keep blocking them, put SM on private.

Startingagainandagain · 09/06/2024 08:59

Thank you @WhatASurprisee

It must be so hard when the person you went NC with lives so close to you!

Unfortunately putting my Insta on private is not a possibility as it is really a business account and I get clients through that platform but I will strive to just keep blocking/ignoring them...

OP posts:
CannotWaitToBeFree · 09/06/2024 09:16

Thats all you can do- block them and try not to post too much about your location, be vague.

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