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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP's strange behaviour?

23 replies

Flyingfecks · 08/06/2024 11:41

First time poster but looking for others thoughts as a bit embarrassed to discuss with friends IRL.
DP and I together 10 years with a DC.
We both work from home a lot, me downstairs in dining room him upstairs in office then come together for tea break/lunch.
The issue started off as pretty trivial but seemed to get a bit strange and left me pretty confused.
We're both working from home and DP is typing like mad, like he's typing out a novel. I notice as it's pretty unusual for him. This goes on until he comes down for lunch when I ask him if he's busy and he says no he's really quiet so I ask what all the typing was and he says just messing about. The typing goes on for the next few days but weirdly it stops if I go upstairs for any reason and only starts again when I'm back downstairs. I popped into the office and DP promptly closed a tab. I asked him why and why the typing stops when I'm upstairs. He said he stopped in case I was coming to speak to him. He then went on to say he was working and therefore none of my business. His work isn't confidential so I find this really strange.
Few days later I go to use DPs laptop to do an online food shop. It's always there for me to use.but I can't as it's password protected. I asked him to open it which he does to let me do the food shop. I asked him why it's now password protected and he says it's also been it's just that I can always access it as he's always logged into his Google account on it. When I asked why he's now logged out of that he says he doesn't know or can't remember.
If your friend, daughter sister told you this would you think she sounded crazy/paranoid or would you think her DPs behaviour was suspicious?

OP posts:
CremeFresh · 08/06/2024 11:44

It could be anything from him writing a novel to chatting to someone online. Is the typing intermittent as if he's waiting for a reply or continuous?

ToBeOrNotToBee · 08/06/2024 11:45

Let the man be a keyboard warrior in peace

thinkfast · 08/06/2024 11:48

Is the typing intermittent, like he's waiting for a reply from a chat room OP?

Apileofballyhoo · 08/06/2024 11:48

Something is being hidden from you, whether it's important or not is the question.

BrutusMcDogface · 08/06/2024 11:51

Maybe he’s writing a pornographic novel.

ManchesterGirl2 · 08/06/2024 11:51

Id worry too. It's a change of behaviour that he's seeming to hide from you. My concern would be that he's online chatting (typing) to a women throughout the day.

mountaingoatsarehairy · 08/06/2024 11:54

Deffo weird.

I wouldn’t bring it up again but would deffo try to find out. I assume once you logged on to do the food shop then he was hanging about ?

if it’s a tab then could you try to get history to show ?

Flyingfecks · 08/06/2024 11:54

It's intermittent yes.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 08/06/2024 11:57

I'm wondering if he's chatting to another woman. His behaviour is raising flags, obviously.

TheTartfulLodger · 08/06/2024 12:04

He's probably just arguing with someone on NN if he's frantically bashing away at the keyboard intermittently.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 08/06/2024 12:18

He's interracting with someone he doesn't want you to know about and he's lying to you about it. You're right to be worried.

Babysharkdoodoodood · 08/06/2024 12:25

Edited

Weekenders · 08/06/2024 12:28

The whole arrangement sounds suffocating.

Babysharkdoodoodood · 08/06/2024 12:28
Shining Stanley Kubrick GIF by hoppip

Is he Jack Nicholson?

Whatineed · 08/06/2024 12:31

Is he gaming on work time, using the work laptop perhaps?

yourlittleworldfallingapart · 08/06/2024 12:33

He's chatting to someone. The question is who, and why he's being cagey about it. It could be innocent but my spidey senses would be tingling.

Flyingfecks · 08/06/2024 12:39

mountaingoatsarehairy · 08/06/2024 11:54

Deffo weird.

I wouldn’t bring it up again but would deffo try to find out. I assume once you logged on to do the food shop then he was hanging about ?

if it’s a tab then could you try to get history to show ?

No he didn't hang around but he was no longer logged into his account so there would have been nothing for me to see

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 08/06/2024 12:46

I'll be honest, OP.

Other than the fact I use my phone rather than a laptop, you've just described me and my typing on MN behaviours! 😬

Based on that, he's definitely doing something he doesn't want you to know about the issue is whether it's a secret novel he's embarrassed about or an illicit affair he wants to hide from you

ToBeOrNotToBee · 08/06/2024 12:49

You sure he hasn't just discovered TRA on X (formerly known as Twitter) and is currently having it out with Owen Jones.

YourPithyLilacSheep · 08/06/2024 17:52

Maybe he’s MNing.

Feelingmentallyunsettled · 08/06/2024 21:11

It does seem a worrying change in his behaviour.
You said OP that you had asked him about things and he has given you some explanations which you are clearly not happy with. Can you sit down with him and have a straight conversation with him about how this is worrying you. If you tell him you are concerned then if what he is doing is innocent he should be prepared to set your mind at rest and to show you what this is all about. If he is not prepared to show you then you will know it is something justifying your worry.

BelindaOkra · 09/06/2024 06:03

He’s clearly hiding something. You are not going mad.

beenwhereyouare · 09/06/2024 06:08

Babysharkdoodoodood · 08/06/2024 12:28

Is he Jack Nicholson?

Exactly what I was thinking! 😉

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