In love and breaking up

[furusato]

Feeling very sad, I'm in/was in a beautiful relationship. Second time around for me, I'm divorced with older kids. He is a bit younger and recently has come to the decision that he wants or thinks he wants kids. I know I don't want to do it again. After soul searching and a couple of weeks of torture we've decided to break up. I'm so sad. Not really sure what I'm looking for but has anyone else got through this. We're both devastated but know it's the right not way forward.

Right way forward I mean ..

I’m really sorry 💐

Knowing it’s the right thing doesn’t make it easier. Look after yourself.

Bump.. any shared experiences? 🙏

Hi, slightly different situation but may help. My ex DP and I broke up around 10 months ago due to not being able to live together and a difference in parenting styles, he had young children I have grown up children. I moved out and found my own place, it was very bittersweet as we’d both said ‘never say never’ as we both still loved each other. We got back together after a couple of weeks and tried to make it work, long story short, it didn’t, we split a couple of weeks ago, the problems we always know would be problems were still there and unfortunately bitterness and anger started to seep in and made it impossible to continue. My advice is that any problems will still be there, I was heartbroken when we split 10 months ago but I really wished I had been stronger and not tried again
I know you’ll be hurting right now but if it’s a non negotiable then please don’t put yourself through the pain of trying again as chances are you’ll end up in exactly the same situation in the coming months ❤️

Ps- we were together 4.5 years in total so not a short term relationship.

Thank you @ChookaPooka this is so helpful.. we were together just over two yrs. you are right and I know that if we were to get back together then the problem would still be there. I am struggling to deal with the rawness of it, and resisting contacting him, to let it begin to heal. I'm also trying to realise the positives of retaining my self worth over trying to stay with someone who fundamentally wants something different to me.

I read somewhere that we fall in love with moments.. and maybe that's what I'm grieving .. all the beautiful moments we had, because if his needs are different to mine then an humans were not right for each other.