Does you DH actually value you and your time as a couple ?

[isotiredtoday]

we've not been great as late , and iv been quite and not as affectionate or attentive as normal , yes he has noticed .

Today , a rare day we had off together , kids at school he asks if ive plans , no i said sorting a mountain of washing , he says hes a few errands to run and leaves.

I phoned him to see if he wanted to spend some time together shortly after, he said yes i thought you might want to , and 6 hours later hes still mia ? most likely tinkering with engines at our local garage ( his hobby )

Now im thinking , he really doesn't value my time or listen to my needs. He doesnt value me and our limited time without kids about.

Why do i accept being bottom of his pile ? I have alot of self worth and respect for myself , my only reason for allowing this is for the sake of our children to remain in a family unit .........AGGGGHHHHH Rant over MN

When he asked had you plans.. Maybe that was the time to say can we spend time together later today, show him that you want to? And agree what time and maybe plan what ye will do. Hard to make it happen when its vague and last minute..

Why didn’t you suggest something when you were discussing your plans? Surely better to communicate your wants and needs than some silly passive aggressive pantomime?

I agree, that was him asking you if you wanted to do anything, and you told him you had loads to do. So he's left you to it. You've now told him you want to do something and he's assuming you mean later as you're doing washing.

Perhaps you should have been more specific. Ie “that would nice. What about lunch at the pub at 1.30pm”

However, I have a feeling this is just one small example in many instances of him putting you bottom of his list. You want to be the only one, it’s pretty common but not sure the responses on here will reflect that!

Maybe look at why you are less affectionate and attentive lately.. think you need to be clear with men they are not mind readers and in my experience don't even attempt to mind read!! You need to communicate with him!

If I was him I’d have taken that as you wanted a day in sporting things out and weren’t that bothered about doing anything.

This just sounds like miscommunication to me.

Another one saying improve your communication. Be clearer in your needs.

I can't tell you much easier it makes things.

put something in the diary

Unless there's a massive drip feed coming, I think you're both equally culpable. Poor communication. Have a chat about it and plan time together, even it's only a take away/film together one night.