First date

[PollyWollyCrappy]

I haven't been on a date for about 3 years (I'm 25). I'm nervous but mostly excited.

Any tips or advice? I'm not too good at dating

:)x

Where are you going on the date?

Trust your gut - if you feel there's red flags, don't arrange a second date.
Apart from that, have fun and enjoy it! I've been married for many years now, but I enjoyed dating a lot in my younger days (before apps etc).

Just relax. Look at it as just meeting someone new. You may end up marrying them in a year, you may never see them again. A bit like the first telephone screen of a job interview - just seeing if there is a possible attraction and things in common.

If it's rubbish, then have a couple of drinks and go, start again. If it looks promising then look forward to a 2nd date.

Know what you want - i.e. if you know you 100% want to have kids and he says he never does = red flag.

Even the dates that didn't go anywhere were often interested, learning about other people and their lives.

@Deathbyfluffy thanks so much! I'm really hoping that it goes well. We've only spoken by text and nothing seems like a red flag (yet), this is the first guy who seems genuine so I'm worried that it might make me ignore potential red flags.

@Dadjoke007 I think the "relax" part is where I'm struggling. He's also quite attractive and I've caught myself thinking "maybe he's too handsome for me" 😭

It's not a chain restaurant, a small independent cafe/restaurant, sorry I know it's not specific

We've only spoken by text and nothing seems like a red flag (yet), this is the first guy who seems genuine

This is when I worry that you may be too trusting. How can you possibly tell that someone is genuine through texting? You absolutely cannot. You know nothing about this man, so I really hope you have your eyes wide open.

Exciting!! Just enjoy his company, stay safe, find out if you may be compatible/if there's a spark and get out if anything worries you.

Don't be coerced into anything.

Hope it goes well :)

Don't think that - that may be an 'issue', it may not.

Lots of people think that. My GF has often said that other people are better looking than her, I should be with someone with better legs etc... but I don't see any of that. Likewise I feel sure she is well out of my league. Attractive is different for different people.

"I worry you may be too trusting" "I really hope you have your eyes wide open"

FFS. Give me strength.

@PollyWollyCrappy - go on your date, talk, have some nice food and drink and enjoy yourself! If you like him, great, if you don't, send him a polite text when you get home thanking him and on to the next one.

Don't start overanalysing something before you've even met the bloke! Chances are he'll be perfectly nice, you may or may not click but at the end of the day it's a few hours and a chance to meet someone new.

I went on LOADS of dates in my 20s and not once did I even think about "red flags". This generation and social media really do have to make everything such a big deal.

I think that's a good option for a first date. Just remember to relax and see it as a bit of fun

Wear something you feel comfortable but fabulous in. Relax, enjoy yourself. Remember he'll be as nervous as you!

Make sure someone knows where you're going so they can check in on you, just in case.

Have fun!

Just think of it as a meet and greet.
I always say try to keep the first date short. 1.5 hours max.

Spending too much time together early on can force disingenuous feelings of intimacy into forming too fast. ...that was a tongue twister xD

Remeber it's just a quick hello, to gage chemistry and see if the chat flows.

Also remember, men aren't fussy. I've lost track of the amount of times I've punched above my weight look wise. And, also, not wanted to pursue anything with them as their personalities weren't good/a match for me. So don't be too intimidated by good looks. And be very careful not to let them mask any bad behaviour. Looks mean nothing if he's a creep or an asshole.

Don't let him know where you live for at least 3 or 4 dates. Just for saftey purposes.

I don't believe anyone is specifically good or bad at dating. It's literally just getting to know someone.

My main piece of advice would be to remember that this date isn't about you impressing him, or hoping that he likes you enough for a second date, it's about you figuring out if you like him enough to see him again.

I think it helps with the nerves going into it to just see it as a bit of fun. It can be hard not to attach lots of expectations if you are hoping to meet someone special, but expectations can lead to disappointment. In my head I kind of view my dating life as a sort of social experiment, which helps to go with the flow of things.

Thanks everyone, the date went really well and we want to see eachother again :) x

Brilliant :)