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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Not sure if the guy I'm dating is interested

14 replies

OneQuirkyZebra · 06/06/2024 15:46

I've been talking to this guy for a few weeks and been on 2 dates, we're both 30. I feel like we really hit it off over text intially having lots in common and our dates have been fun, but I can't tell if he's still interested and starting to wonder if maybe he just wants someone to talk to/pass the time. We haven't broken the physical barrier on dates apart from hugging goodbye, but i think we're both a bit awkward in that regard. After the first date I pretty much straight away suggested a 2nd which he chose a place and we had 2 days ago. He messaged after saying thanks for today and for letting him win at pool. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but i didnt think that suggested hed be up for doing it again and he hasn't hinted at it since so I get the feeling things might have fizzled out from his side or become more platonic. After being eager for the 2nd date id rather him suggest the 3rd which is why im reluctant to outright ask. We still message and he'll always respond to keep conversation going even when it's not nesseccary and send some flirtatious/banterous messages but it feels very surface level and like it's moreso me flirting and asking questions. I haven't dated in a long time so don't know if I'm overthinking/expecting things to move fast or falling into a trap with someone who isn't interested. I'm not sure how to approach asking him without coming across as awkward/intense?

OP posts:
steamingbeet · 06/06/2024 15:48

drop him

“So are you thinking we go for date 3?”

Sounds like you have instigated to this point. Now put him on the spot

Frogandfish · 06/06/2024 17:02

steamingbeet · 06/06/2024 15:48

drop him

“So are you thinking we go for date 3?”

Sounds like you have instigated to this point. Now put him on the spot

Yes this. Not suggesting, asking him outright.

DatingDinosaur · 06/06/2024 17:27

Sounds to me like he's enjoying you chasing him!

As you've instigated everything so far, I would say the ball's in his court now. I'd keep chatting for a while longer but if he doesn't offer up another date soon, assume he's enjoying the (you) chasing (him) and attention.

Other than that, I'd assume I've been friend-zoned.

Citygirl17 · 06/06/2024 17:34

DatingDinosaur · 06/06/2024 17:27

Sounds to me like he's enjoying you chasing him!

As you've instigated everything so far, I would say the ball's in his court now. I'd keep chatting for a while longer but if he doesn't offer up another date soon, assume he's enjoying the (you) chasing (him) and attention.

Other than that, I'd assume I've been friend-zoned.

This.

Frogandfish · 06/06/2024 17:41

Thing is, I would prefer to ask than chat aimlessly. That's what gets tedious

Anon751117000 · 06/06/2024 17:47

If he is REALLY interested he would be suggesting date 3. I would step right back form this one. Why are you the one doing all the chasing?

TheRealKatnissEverdeen · 06/06/2024 17:52

You proposed date two so surely he can suggest the third. I'm not a dating connoisseur but can't imagine it can be that difficult to gauge, by the weekend, whether he's into you. If the current conversations are not mutually initiated I wouldn't be suggesting a third.

InvestinITMN · 18/07/2024 07:58

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OneQuirkyZebra · 18/07/2024 08:03

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I haven't copied and pasted? It's a different question, am I not allowed to ask advice again. Like I said I've been out of the dating game for a long time and have other reasons which make navigating dating hard to understand so am asking some advice. Can you explain to me your issue with me asking for advice again? Why are you so pressed because I dare ask more than one question? Chill tf out.

OP posts:
kiana2015 · 18/07/2024 08:06

From my experience, when a man is interested, they let you know it. Bin him and move on

InvestinITMN · 18/07/2024 08:09

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InvestinITMN · 18/07/2024 08:10

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OneQuirkyZebra · 18/07/2024 08:13

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Mate it's not the same person, as might be obvious from the 2 different scenarios just using an advice forum for its intended purpose.

OP posts:
FrustratedToday · 18/07/2024 10:09

OneQuirkyZebra · 18/07/2024 08:13

Mate it's not the same person, as might be obvious from the 2 different scenarios just using an advice forum for its intended purpose.

Ignore this numpty. They are obviously having a bad day/week /life judging by the amount of vitriol and bile they are spewing on multiple threads.

I think you should friend zone him, see how he reacts to that which will tell you if he's worth bothering with, without you losing any dignity.
Good luck!

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