Kip - don't worry, you are not alone. Recently I had to wait three months for sex. Yes, I could have initiated it, but my dh has made it clear that he doesn't like my current figure (1 to 1.5 stone overweight), so I thought 'Why the hell should I?' He does not have a high libido anyway, and sex has always been an issue between us. Yes, it is the NORM for men to want it more than women, but in order for there to be an average, there have to be a few at the other end of the scale!
The problem arises not because of your dh or you specifically, but because of the difference in your sex drives. If I had a low libido like my dh, then I would not feel bad about the lack of sex. I think the issue here has to be whether you can live with the situation. Ultimately, all the counselling in the world will not change things if he genuinely has a low sex drive (as opposed to a deeper problem).
You say that you love each other, so are you prepared to lose that for a relationship with another man? This is a thought process that I have had many times in my head, and I have always come back to the answer that I love him, and want to be with him. I am sure that he masturbates, but have not asked him in the last ten years, as I just assume that he does. I know that I do, otherwise I would explode!
The only other thing that I can say is that having our ds has made our sex life even worse than it was before, as the stress and tiredness means that you have to make even MORE of an effort. It is rare that I feel completely horny at all, so the chance of our 'peak' times happening at the same time is tiny. Have you tried seducing him? Just a thought, I'm sure you have.
Let us know how the counselling goes if you decide to have it. My dh will not countenance the idea, so at least yours is trying to sort the situation out.