Considering separating….what’s next

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My husband and I have been having problems for a few years and I am reaching the stage of feeling done. We have 2 small children and have a house, car, other assets together. We are meant to be signing a 2 year fixed mortgage deal which obv I am holding off at the moment. I am financially independent, in fact earn more than my husband. Both full time. I want to be very practical for the children, appreciate it may get messy. He has been saying I can move out; he seems a bit deluded I will disappear and he would have both kids and keep the house. Says his parents would buy me out but I cannot see that happening, not that he would be able to keep up the payments.

I would like some advice of what the next steps are/ what I should do. No one really knows, there will be lots of people suprised. I have seen properties locally which are lovely and in my price range but obv would need to take capital from the house before I could buy so very far from that. Presume I would be liable to pay CMS as he earns less, even if custody is 50:50? Can we place stipulations for the children? He had previous issues with alcohol, I worry he would lapse and drink whilst he is in charge of the kids.

What you need to do is get legal advice.

Generally - assets will be 50/50, but if yours is a short marriage, then it doesn't have to be. Pensions may or may not be part of it - again, depending on particulars.
You are unlikely to still pay CMS if kids are 50/50 - unless you are earning above CMS threshold - I think it's about £160K. Or if he is a supper low earner - again a solicitor should be able to help you there.

Kids being small may be a blessing in a way - they won't remember separation. As long as you sort out details and coparenting quickly - they'll not remember the period of tension and conflict.

I think you should see a solicitor to be 100% sure where you stand, but briefly:
In terms of assets, they would be split 50/50. How you arrange this is up to you both to agree (or if you can't, the court will decide for you (lengthy and expensive).
Child maintenance: here's an online calculator you can use. Go on it and work through a few options before you try to agree what the time split would be.
You need to have a serious sit down with him - list all the assets and debts you each have, then see if you can agree between you how to split these. It will obviously be easier if one of you wants to and can retain the house, but this might not be possible. Most likely the house will be sold and there will be an agreed split of proceeds. With Pensions, again it's easier if you can arrange so that these do not need to be split (this would need a court order).

So basically - Try to get your ducks in a row first, understand the options, then have a big talk with him. It might be easier to use a mediator to help with this.