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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Making Plans

2 replies

Shambles123 · 03/06/2024 13:49

DH and I are in a bit of an bad phase at the moment with arguments centring mainly around plans/organisations.

It is worth noting that I like plans in the diary and planning, I prefer to get out of the house and do things. He doesn't really like planning and is quite happy bumbling around.

After a good few solid months of bumbling around I threw my toys out of the pram. Anything organised that had happened or that was planned was done by me. I told him (probably over emotionally tbf) that I felt like he didn't want to spend time with me (or as a whole family) and that I felt rejected. He said he would try to plan some things, reassured me he did like spending time with me/us.

A few weeks later... nothing has happened. I tried to open the conversation nicely but it massively blew up into a full scale argument. We did reach some kind of resolution but this morning we have argued again as I was making a plan to go away with the kids for a few days in the summer and he said it was upsetting he hadn't been asked. It is very true to point out I hadn't invited him (as had assumed he wouldn't want to take time off or travel and it was a share of summer childcare for me as well). He could have said he wanted to come at any time though?! I really was just assuming it would be a no from him (or why wouldn't he have suggested a trip himself fgs).

Anyone have similar or any advice? Its not feeling great between us and I am un settled but also thinking bit of a mountain/molehill.

OP posts:
NosyJosie · 03/06/2024 15:56

It is weird that you would plan to take the children away and not tell him, however complacent he is. Feels like you were trying to make a point and the surprised that it backfired.

Shambles123 · 03/06/2024 16:08

I did tell him, I said Ive booked three days off in August, maybe I'll look for a last minute deal to take the kids away on my days off. I also then told him I was surprised at how expensive some of the things were at first google. Nothing was hidden. Still haven't booked anything!

OP posts:
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