Sometimes it still gets to me , nobody in family or family friends like me or have any contact

[Nutmegcinnamon]

Which is fine - as I want to be NC due to severe abuse as a child and teen and a narcissistic family set up. It’s the constant sabotaging to this day of things though. To make sure I have no or as little support network as possible and to make my life harder.

Im lonely but it’s not that I want them , im stressed because NC isn’t really NC when they are still doing things to make my life harder.

I think I need to arrange some therapy as i find it so hard to deal with still. I feel very damaged by it all. I’ve tried hard to make my own support network and have friends but I have anxiety that will all be sabotaged too and it’s a weight on my shoulders.

What do others do in these situations. I want to just not care but it does hurt and it also causes me inconvenience

Move away.

Can I ask how you forged relationships with the next generation down in your family? I've been thinking of doing this but my narc dm seems to have influence everywhere I look. Dd is an only child and I'm quite worried about the future, that she won't have any family she's close to. My db isn't interested in us and just wants to keep his distance for an easy life, so sadly despite my regular attempts to get dd and her cousins together it never comes to anything. They only live 25-30 mins drive from us and she hasn't seen them since Christmas. Dh's family live a few hours drive away and my sil has a toddler, so massive age gap with my dd.

Hi @Ivyy I did it by meeting one on one, telling my side of the story and seeing how they reacted. I was careful to say that I didn’t expect them to agree with me nor share my view of my family nor did my perspective only that they would tolerate that I had a different experience than them. I respect they are compromised by the situation too. We never discuss it anymore.

If there's any way to get away from them, I would do it. I've spent 15 years plus in counselling and am severely unwell now with a multitude of chronic health problems. What's so difficult is knowing that lies are being told about you by sociopathic family members, when you are truly a good soul. I know I am now and so are you.
I think physical distance and a fresh start will be so good for you.
On the other hand, people always always show their true colours in the end so I doubt everyone would believe every word of what lies they spread.