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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Verbal abuse

7 replies

Rach1985121 · 03/06/2024 00:15

So short story I've been with my kids father 10 years he's always had a real nasty temper which comes out in verbal abuse , we did end and decided after a while apart to try again but recently I brought up an issue to him and he said I'm boring and repetitive and always looking for problems he basically shut me down and proceeded to give a solution to my issues while pushing my feelings to the side and not wanting to talk anymore on it and told me I need to grow up , the next day I explained how that made me feel and I was then met by threats of violence him saying watch when I see you , basically saying he will harm me told me I shouldn't be on this earth told me I should just end my life and my existence is the only problem in his life. This isn't the first time he's spoken like this and worse but that's why I feel so stupid what is wrong with me why does something so small end up in threats and abuse why did I go back to him. He usually ends up turning it all on me and it's always without doubt my fault and then days later will try to be all sweet and realize he needs to change. Same old story every time I know to some it may be logical I walk away which is what I want to do but I feel like it's really messed me up mentally over the years.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 03/06/2024 07:49

You need to end it permanently. Verbal abuse can become physical.

DelightedLime · 03/06/2024 08:24

Run for the hills. As @DustyLee123 it can spiral very quickly.

Howbizarre22 · 03/06/2024 08:26

Get out if this “relationship “ immediately. Nobody deserves verbal abuse or abuse of any kind. And no OP, HE WILL NOT CHANGE. You deserve a kind caring partner who treats you right.

PurpleBugz · 03/06/2024 09:46

Woman's aid are brilliant support when you are trying to get up the courage to leave xx

Rach1985121 · 03/06/2024 11:11

Thank you

OP posts:
Anon751117000 · 03/06/2024 14:04

Please leave this man. He is showing you who he is. Listen to him. He will end up becoming violent. He's a poor excuse for a man.

LadyMuckk · 04/06/2024 07:30

You have to save yourself. This is his level. You can't change this. You can't ask for change because you're met with abuse. Splitting up in these situations is not easy but it's essential for your future. Take help, don't feel that the help isn't for people like me, or people in my situation. It is. The help that exists is for you.

If I have one regret (apart from not leaving sooner) is not reaching out to women's aid.

Take care xx

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