This isn't normal is it?

[pepsimac]

Hello
Been with partner for 2 years very on an off , he's done some really shit things which I haven't been happy about and ended things then we end up back together.
( had a tinder profile said he didn't use it , found screenshots of women he had chatted to on a sex webcam)
I stupidly stayed with him, but recently every time we go on a night out which isn't often he turns aggressive with me it's making me never want to go,
Even day to day I do feel on pins sometimes.

I don't get excited like I used to over seeing him but am filled with anxietyt!
The sex is good and I do love him I think 🤔 but this feeling isn't normal is it?
X

No. He’s an abusive twat.

None of it belongs in a decent relationship, no.

Um no, that's not normal. When it's the right person you won't have any insecurities and they won't be aggressive. Get away from him while you can. There's plenty other guys out there who will be even better in bed and treat you a heck of a lot better too.

You should end this.
No woman needs to be in a relationship where her boyfriend's aggressive.

What on earth do you love about him?

Do you think he'd still be with you, being faithful, if you;

Had a tinder profile he found, that you claimed you didn't use
Found images from web "chats" you'd had with male escorts
Was aggressive & nasty regularly on nights out.

??

I think you'd be dumped or relegated to being a hook up in his rotation.

What on earth do you love about him?

This

Oxytocin ain't love.

He's not safe to be around.

Love shmove. Love YOURSELF.

Protect yourself from dangerous men. Get him gone. ASAP.

Aggressive is never OK. You're in danger.

Do he’s an aggressive abusive cheating lying cunt who gives you anxiety but you love him and he’s a good shag.

FFS he’s vile and his cock working doesn’t make him worth your love.

You know the answer - kick his nasty arse to the kerb.

I stupidly stayed with him

Time to stop being stupid and start being smart.

I don't know if you have kids already op, but if you don't ... This guy and this relationship is not a good bet to have them in.

In fact it sounds similar to most of the relationships that stressed single Mums with nightmare exes (and shit fathers to their kids) describe as their background.

The sooner you get rid, the sooner you meet someone else.

@DotDashDot24 no kids but children from previous relationships on both sides ... everytime I end it he talks me back around 😭 I need to be stronger x

Yeah you do need to be stronger. You're setting the example for your children of what is acceptable in a relationship. If that isn't sobering I don't know what is.

End it now. Go NC, stay with parents for a while... anything that will let you get away. He sounds like an abusive dickhead - I would leave him while you have a chance!

“SamW98 · Yesterday 23:58
Do he’s an aggressive abusive cheating lying cunt who gives you anxiety but you love him and he’s a good shag.

FFS he’s vile and his cock working doesn’t make him worth your love.

You know the answer - kick his nasty arse to the kerb.”

This. End it. Block him. Do NOT let him talk you back round. He is low quality.

Be stronger, for you and your children.
If it was a friend’s relationship, what would you advise them to do?

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?. What sort of an example did your parents show you?.

What do you want to teach your own children about relationships and what are they learning here?. Would you want them to be in a relationship with someone like this man, hell no.

You may well be confusing love with you really being trauma bonded and or codependent.

Your boundaries here, already weakened to start with, are being further eroded by this man now. The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none so I am asking you how you can be helped into leaving this man, your abuser, once and for all.

The fact you put 'i think' tells me you don't love him. You know when you love someone.

I can't think why his relationship with the mother of his kids ended.

🙄

None of this is good enough.

Think about why you’re exposing your children to this abusive twat and run for the hills.

For the love of god end this relationship and end it now.

There are children involved. Do better by them.

I'm scared to end it incase he kicks off and comes round the house why the kids are here , he says he gets red mist x

Ring the police if he does this.