Have I left it too late?

[ConfusedConfuse]

I've been single for nearly 8 years, I can't see myself ever meeting anyone now. Various reasons just being a lone parent raising my children alone so not getting time to date. I feel like I've left it too late and no one will want me now. Has anyone dated after such a long time alone? I will be 40 in 5 years and the thought of being alone for the rest of my life now is depressing. Not even had sex since I was late 20s, anyone else in the same boat and do you regret not meeting anyone sooner? I don't even know how to talk to men anymore. Is it possible to meet someone after so long alone?

No idea. But at 48 I've given up. I've got my kids and friends.
The men on offer aren't worth the bother TBH.

I was single for eight years, didn't want another relationship but I was surprised and we've been living together for two years now.

Too late for what?

You already have a family so it's not like there's any rush for anything.

Chances are you'll have several partners between now and when you die. 5 or 10 maybe.

You know 'happy ever after' is Disney bullshit right? Men come and go. You're your person. Men are just added company and spice. Until they start to drag...and then you choose you again, and get shot of them.

There's no 'too late' until you're dead. It's an ongoing, forever changing cycle.

But you do need to put yourself out there in order to meet anyone.

Too meet someone and I wouldn't rule out having another child though

I mean do you get too set in your ways that you would struggle to have a partner if you've been single for so long I know lots of people struggle to let someone into their life and get set in their ways, wouldn't rule out another child as I've brought mine up alone and would be nice to experience it with someone.

You could meet someone at 70.

You've another decade for more kids if you meet someone suitable too.

But tbh I think you should focus on refinding your self love and appreciation. And maybe a bit of fun. Becayse you seem pretty down on yourself.

Don't think I would want to meet someone at 70 think I would give up by then

There's always a chance you'd end up bringing up another child alone so, bare that in mind.

Personally I don't think I'd be bothered risking it.
Think I'd just want some quality adult company and adventure back in my life.

Whatever floats your boat if course but, I dunno it just sounds like you feel a huge chunk of 'wgats supposed to be' is missing and you think a man and more kids will resolve it. When really the issue ys that you're only 35 and yet talking as if you're over the hill somehow ('I'll be forty in 5 years').

That smacks of someone in need of re-discovering self love imo. An adventure, some joy, some hobbies etc..

At 18, you might have thought that way about yourself at 35 though xD

You never know!

Point is, you'll probably meet several men between now and then.

I think it's my age single from 28 to 40 feels like I'm missing all my "prime" years. If ur was 58 to 70 maybe I would feel different but these are suppose to be a woman's prime

But you're only 35!
And a woman's prime depends solely on the woman!

I'm your age and tbh I'm feeling like I'm just coming into my prime.

I've recently started dating two people, talking to a third too. No idea what I want other than to have fun and not get too bogged down with life. Been single for nearly 4 years apart from.a bit of dating (happily enough so tbf) and decided to have some fun so we'll see how it goes.

Apparently sex is better in your 30s too so 🤷 fingers crossed! Might end up in a relationship, might not.

The only way you miss out is by getting tied down to 'I must have this or that' or 'life doesn't look like it should' or 'supposed to be'.

Nothings stopping you! Get your party clothes on and get out and meet folk (childcare permitting!). Don't put restrictions on yourself. Fuck society. Fuck 'supposed to' (and maybe, fuck a cute guy or two xD).

Whatever you want, there's plenty of time.

Why are you already thinking about turning 40 in 5 years? Five years is a huge amount of time in which things can change. It sounds like you're resigned to the fact you'll still be single by then, which isn't a mentality that's going to be helpful to finding someone.

If you want to meet someone, you need to be proactive and make the effort to, rather than be sitting feeling sorry for yourself and counting down the years till you turn 40.

Things will only change if you actually make the effort to change them.

It goes quick though! Yes I probably will still be as my children are still a bit young (teens) and I'm waiting till they are old enough to be left alone for a bit

Of course it's not too late! When you say you're 40 in five years... so you're actually 35? You're the same length away from your 40s as you are your 20s! I was single for nearly 10 years before I met my partner at 35. Defo not too late for you to meet someone lovely!

I'm 46 been single for 6 years, I feel like I'm never going to meet anyone and that actually makes me sad. I did meet a guy who was lovely but it wasn't meant to be, he didn't feel the same way.

I tried OLD and hated it. I noticed I changed and it wasn't a good version of me. So I will take my chances in the wild and hope one of the very few men that I actually fancy fancy me back.😂

I feel like I'm now looking for that unicorn though.

But im not getting younger….

Thanks im glad someone understands old is the only option for me as i wouldnt meet anyone irl and ive heard how awful it is

35 is young! You can date a single dad

It's easy to say you have your life ahead of you, you've plenty of time but when you're going through it it doesn't feel like it. I don't want to be 50 and still single, I always thought I'd be happily married by this age (the ex husband destroyed that dream).

When my marriage ended I thought I had loads of time, but as the years have gone by and no man has come in and stayed it feels like it's slipping away and may never happen.

All I can say is enjoy the life you have and try not to fixate on what you don't. Easier said than done I know.

He would have to have teenage/ grown up kids as I'm waiting for mine to grow up so can be left alone so don't want to go back to the beginning with someone with young children

Thank you, yes I didn't think I would still be single 8 years later the time has flown by

@ConfusedConfuse most dads have them 50/50 absolute max

Even so I'm not prepared to deal with young children again or be a step mum to young ones when mine have grown up. So would need to be teens at the youngest.

My old doctor, who must have been one the first women gps because she was ancient, used to have a great saying. When you’re in your 30s you’re old enough to know what you want and young enough to get it.

"I will be 40 in 5 years"

Doesn't sound so bad when you say you're only 5 years past 30 ;)