In a pickle with what to do

[Ccbow]

i Will try and keep this short.
my husband and I separated a year ago I started seeing someone who had some issues. I have been back and forth each person not really sure to give my marriage another go or continue the new relationship.
we were both at fault with the marriage I stopped finding my husband attractive and didn’t desire him and communication break down. I still love him even after a year and me seeing someone new.
the guy I have been seeing had a issue with alcohol he’s now not drinking (3 months sober so far) the new guy makes me feel alive and we get on so well everything is there except he has a few issues.
my husband is still doing everything to get me back but I don’t know if I will be truly happy forever with him we have a child together.
I feel like I love them both and I’m tired of going in circles with past year not being able to make a decision.

I have adhd which I don’t think helps as my brain is constantly overthinking

If I were you I would take some time to be on my own and work on 'finding myself' corny phrase but I didn't know how else to put it.

You need to be on your own. Certainly do not further pursue a relationship with a man who has self proclaimed alcohol problems.

Have you had sole counselling re your marriage?. Where is your child?

It's possible that neither man is right for you or your forever person. Being with a newly recovering alcoholic is not easy and smooth sailing. It might not be wise for him to get into a relationship either. Relationship counselling will help to unpick these issues.

I have my child In the week and my husband has her on weekends. She isn’t involved with the guy in seeing that’s separate I see him on weekends.

A new relationship sounds like a terrible idea, especially a relationship with someone with issues with alcohol, past or present.

Get rid of both of them is what I'd do.

get a coin. heads your ExH, Tails your BF.
Flip it.

You'll know how you feel the moment it goes, because there will be one that sparks joy, and one that brings disappointment.

sometimes, with adhd, we can't see the wood for the trees, so clear the extra stuff that's dragging the choice.

Does your dh know that you have been seeing someone else?

Is the new bloke really that great or is this a rebound thing to make yourself feel attractive and wanted again? From the fact you are overlooking his alcohol problem plus 'a few issues' it suggests you are into the idea of him more than the reality but you'd rather be with a half ok man than on your own.

It sounds like you need to be on your own for a while to be honest.

You seem to see it as only 2 choices

• husband who you haven't been happy with for a while

Or

• new bloke with alcohol issues

Why do you have to chose either of these?