How do you hold on through the bad times?

[JamSandle]

Freshly dumped. Single. Mid 30s. I dont like it! I'm in therapy though and trying to focus on myself as much as possible.

Pretty much everyone I know is in a relationship/engaged/married/with kids.

I want to know for sure that I'll have a healthy relationship again in the future.

How the hell do you hold on until then? I feel pretty lonely.

Sending hugs @JamSandle ....how long was your relationship

Recently going through the same thing OP and completely understand how you feel!

However, everything happens for a reason and I believe everything works out the way it should, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time.

We think that we can control everything that happens in our lives, but when you let go of things you can’t control, everything feels a lot lighter.

sending hugs 🌷

3 years!

Thanks Rachel. How old are you? It sounds like you have quite a positive mindset about it. I'm just feeling sad and like I'll never have a healthy relationship again at the moment.

I am 28 and recently out of a 3.5 year relationship. The majority of my friends are all either living together, getting marrried, having children etc and it used to really get to me and made me depressed that it wasn’t happening for me. When that’s all I’ve really wanted in life!

I used to always think why isint this all happening for me? But I realised I was focusing on those things all too much and not enjoying life and how short it is!

It will all work out for you, especially when you least it expect it to. That’s what I believe for myself!

I'm mid 30s so I think I worry/panic more than anything.

I feel like im running out of time :(

@Rachel2478 I agree you have a great perspective on your breakup. Can I ask how long since you broke up, did you instigate the break up, any reconciliation attempts and how did you arrive where you are mentally.
Sorry to bombard you with questions but I'm recently out of a relationship too so am interested.

@JamSandle you have plenty of time, be kind to yourself and invest in yourself. It's not easy.

@LuckyLinda3 we have been officially broken up for around 3 months ago or so. It’s a long story but my ex didn’t want to make any commitments to me (or in the future) so yes I walked away in the end but I didn’t feel I had much choice.

We broke up around 5 months ago but the first few months there was a few back and forths, catching up for lunch, going for walks etc, but we still couldn’t come to an agreement on how the relationship could proceed. We also had a number of heated arguments where he said things that I just could not forget and I realised it was actually damaging my own mental health going back and forth.

don’t get me wrong I still have some sad days and days where I feel down but as time passes they are much less now. At the start I would cry from the moment I woke up to the minute I went to sleep, I now only cry maybe once every 2-3 weeks. It’s very cliche, but time really is a healer.

I always think to myself that my ex knows where I live and so if he really wanted things to work he would still be trying. Sometimes you need to know your self worth and know that you are someone special and if someone doesn’t appreciate it, there will be someone out there that does. I truly believe everything happens for a reason in life, so I just need to keep going and ride the wave.

@Rachel2478 so glad you are making progress and know your own worth. You are right, we keep going and hopefully there are good things coming our way.