Another mother one…

[Foolmetentimes]

I’ve posted a few times re my mother and always received amazing support and advice so just wanted to vent/post as stupidly I’ve allowed my guard down and boundaries down and yet again just getting emotionally shanked by her. I guess also just looking for someone to say “this is not acceptable.

I am expecting a baby and we are buying another house. My mother has made several disparaging remarks about the (beautiful) house we are buying. She doesn’t like it, it’s not her taste, another house we don’t want is much nicer etc etc.

today our offer was accepted and I told her. She didn’t bother to reply. I had enough and said “you don’t seem very excited”.

her response was “do stop. I don’t give a flying fig about the house but I’m so excited about the baby”.

me “can’t you see that even if you don’t care it’s polite to pretend?” (How you can’t care about a big decision your child is making/big excitement for them I don’t know but I could be wrong.

her “vent if you need to - im just so excited about the baby”.

i (potentially childishly) said that I won’t bother discussing house with her and I also won’t bother to care about stuff she tells me.

I know it’s my fault for putting myself out there with her again and being disappointed. I feel extremely petty now and think I won’t be having her round the day the baby is born, as per usual. And I won’t be going above and beyond for her birthday.

I just don’t understand how someone can think this isn’t hurtful? Am I overreacting?

I think your mother is a narcissist, if you don’t know about NPD read up.
It will explain a lot.
My mother was a narc, she behaved in a similar way. The

I don't think you're great with people, judging by this. I'm sure you will find people in life who are like you, and maybe you get on fine with them, but most people won't be. People have emotional needs, and that's ok.

I get on just fine with people and I understand everyone is different. You think weddings aren’t just an event. I feel differently and I’m not alone in that as evidenced by the regular posts on here from people trying to get out of them. Neither of us are wrong.

I agree the mothers reaction is disappointing. However the op knew she wasn’t enthusiastic about it and challenging her to pretend was inappropriate.

I can see challenging her wasn’t great.

but can’t you see it’s a response to repeatedly shitty and disappointing behaviour?

as I said - I don’t care about a lot of the things she wants to bitch/moan about, but I sit there and listen to her and contribute because that’s just the kind thing to do.

Also btw the posters on here who post about weddings etc - I doubt very much they would share their actual feelings with loved ones. It would be hurtful.

How petty of your mother, she seems like a nasty piece of work. She's throwing her toys out the pram because she didn't get her own way. (Even though it's regarding something that's nothing to do with her)
Enjoy your new house & your new baby , if I were you I'd keep your dm at arms length!!

And I forgot to say but congratulations on your lovely new house and upcoming baby!!