Feeling a bit down about relationships etc

[MrsSnape]

I've just been thinking about how much I want another child. I'm 27 now however and there is no man in sight and obviously I'm not going to go and get pregnant to the first one that shows an interest so even if I meet Mr Right tomorow, (which is highly unlikely!) realistically I'm still going to be 30ish before I can even think about having another baby. Is it unrealistic to be thinking about more babies at my age?

And then there's the general relationship bit, Last weekend the kids were at their dads, this weekend they're at my mums all weekend and what have I done with the luxury of "me" time? Sat at home playing on the PC. I just keep thinking, if I had someone, even in the early stages of a relationship we couldve been all over these past two weekends...I think its times like this when you realise how nice a relationship would be.

Please tell me someone decent will show up sooner or later?

someone will turn up im sure BUT you have to try and MEET him!! youve hd 2 weekends alone why havent you gone out? you need to get your arse into gear and start socialising..... consider yourself told!!

LOL I hang my head in shame ...

Truth is I have no real friends and so find it hard to go out really. I'm a very unsociable person which doesn't help

I feel like this, but I am nearly 34. I am in a relationship, but I couldn't even begin to think about kids.

Relax, you have plenty of time on your side. I have accepted the fact that I am likely to only ever have my DD, although it was always my dream to have more than one child. However, DD is so amazing that every day I realise how lucky I am to have had her and I'm so thankful!

you need to get out tho ,,,,,what about class or something? mr right is hrdly going to just knock on your front door is he? what about weekends when the children are at home? cant u do stuff that might help you socialise on your own more when they re away?
joining in with some mums from school or mums you meet on the park? my friend met her lovely (rich) husband in the lonely hearts columns?

Er I think you won't meet anyone unless you get out there. So use the free time to do things you enjoy. There's PLENTY of time. I was 30 when I had my first baby and 37 when I had my second, with dh#2, who I met when I was 33

I've tried dating sites but I never seem to get many messages, I don't know if its what I write or because I don't have a photo on my page (probably the latter).

I do classes 3 nights a week and am thinking of joining the gym but money is a little tight at the moment

MrsSnape, I am 35 in July with a ds aged 6 so I do identify with the worry you may never have another child. I second what greeneyedgirl says though - we are so incredibly lucky to have children at all. Also - you have BAGS of time. You need to be more proactive though. As a veteran of dating sites, it is def the fact you have no pic that is the issue. I never even respond to people without pics!

Another veteran of dating sites here, it is definately because you haven't got a photo up!!

You need to get out if you want to meet people, and you know what, the more you do it (socialise, that is) the more you will enjoy it!

What classes do you do?

I don't think you're liklely to meet anyone at the gym, men go there to work ot, not chat, ime. If you just want to exercise running is free!

I dont think the gym is a good place to meet people. Well it never has been for me anyway people seem much to into their workouts to stop and talk. Although when I did classes at the gym I often got chatting to people while we were waiting for the instructors.

You are the same age as me and I would like another child but things just get in the way. There is plenty of time to have another so don't rush it.

Its a martial arts class I do. I wasn't expecting to meet anyone there though, I do it purely for the interest and fitness.

I can't really think of anything else I can do, I can't do night classes because of the kids...It would help if I could find work but thats proving an impossible task too.

I'll have to get a photo sorted out I suppose, I never reply to faceless people on dating sites either

Yes, get a photo up, you'll have much more success then I guarantee it. I use dating sites and I have had quite a few dates from them (some good, some bad lol), I find it's the easiest way to meet people.

Although, do remember, if you do go on a date through one of these sites, be careful and let people know where you are going etc.

MrsSnape, I'm 41 with a 2.5yr old who I am bringing up alone.

Please don't worry about the future so much and believe me when I say you have plenty of time.

I am increasingly sad that I won't have any more children. Had my marriage worked out I'd be holding a new baby by now.

Good friends recently advised me it's okay to be sad about it but not to let it eclipse the wonderful child I do have.

Good advice IMO and I've felt better for it.

I'm a strong believer that when you're ready for it a new relationship will present itself.

For me my head feels ready but my heart doesn't!

I met my DH through Dating Direct. Yes you need a photo, would you seriously meet anyone without seeing a photo? (ooh must learn not to skim read, you have already answered that )We were married within 18mths of meeting and pregnant within 19mths.

I'm not advocating such unseemly speed for yourself as we were older when we met, but just wanted to show you an example of how fast things can change.

It doesn't sound like you are ready for a relationship yet and you have loads of times before you need to worry about not being able to have more children.

Think about things that you might enjoy doing and go out and do them. I was single for most of my 20s and I tried to work on the basis of what would happen if I met my ideal man a year from now, what things should I pack in life wise in case its harder to do them in a relationship. I'm glad I went on so many ski trips and went off to visit my friends and spent my money on handbags. Relationships aren't perfect either and compromises are required from both parties, so try to enjoy the good parts of being single, because it may not last for very long.

You are only young - you have plenty of time to meet someone. I had only just had my first child at your age.

You should really try to get out a little more when you have your free time, and persevere with the dating sites, maybe adding a photo. Someone will probably come along when you're least expecting it!

When I was your age "young lady" (wags finger), I was a year short of being dumped, childless, by H1. When it happened when I was 28, I thought my life was over and I would never have children.

I then met DH2 when I was 32, married at 34, first baby at 35, second at 37 and surprise last one at forty-feckin-three!!

You have loads of time yet... you just need to enjoy that "me time."