A big family event when DH and I have separate lives.

[Mayorjune]

'D'H and I lead separate lives.
I'm trying to get the financial info together before telling him I can't live like this anymore.
We have a family event (his) at the end of July and a major one in December.
I can't face having to put on a happy face in December and don't know how to do it in July.
I may well announce the separation before December, in which case how do I navigate the family Dec event?
Our children will be upset if I don't go.

But your soon to be exes relatives will not be your family once you break up. They're your kids family, their father can take them to events with his relatives.

I've been unhappy for so long.
I've told him and nothing changes.
I don't understand how we went from being so in love to being strangers.
We were the engages couple once.

@coldbrocisbest good god give it a rest. Of course you know how every single adult child would feel in this situation. You're right I'm wrong. All hail Queen Broccoli.

Jesus fucking Christ 😂

In which case you do need to act. If he isn't willing to discuss things when you have tried then you need to simply tell him what you want to happen and what is going to happen.
Make plans about how a split could work practically beforehand so that you are prepared. Then tell him.
The wedding in December is the least of your problems really, he can go alone with the kids or you go too if things are amicable by then. It shouldn't be the reason you don't move things forward.

How come strangers can see clearer than I?!🥴

If it's his relative who is getting married in Dec then just don't go. Announce your separation before then and there will be no expectation for you to go anyway.

Don't put yourself through the misery just for the sake of appearances.

This is a universal truth, OP.

If it wasn’t, MN would solely exist for book reviews and recipe tips 😀

Who’s family is it?

If it’s his, then you stay home and he takes the kids.

If it’s yours, then he stays home and you take the kids.

This is just part of being separated.

The sooner you do it, the easier it will be for everyone.

Sad isn't it 💔

Don't over think it.

If you're still together then you go to the family events. If you're not then you don't. Simple!

There's always a reason not to bite the bullet if you look hard enough. It's someone's birthday, it's the summer holidays, it's Christmas coming up ...

For me, I can't see why a family event in July or someone's wedding in December could possibly be a reason to stay together 😕

It's a month or so away. Your dh would just take the kids on his own. You'd do something else.

It's just life, people adjust.