Can't quite believe what's going on but I'm writing this to get perspective...
I'm really not sure what to do.
DH and I have been in a really good place lately. All happy and planning trips and keeping money aside for a holiday and planning getting a new car. I was feeling very fortunate as we've had money issues in the past. I've been the one who has had to work really hard to keep us in line to pay things off and to get us into a good place.
Using DH's phone yesterday I came across a pop up with my name on in his notes.
It was a list of things coming up, school events and so on. I thought how great it was that DH has saved all this and is so organised.
Scrolled down a bit more (this is all on the same note) and it has details of a credit card and (as I later found out) another bank account.
I was shocked because this credit card was one I'd scrimped and saved (including borrowing money from my Mum - which I've now paid back) to pay the damn thing off.
After some time he admitted he also had a separate bank account and was using the overdraft on that to pay the credit card, but there's nothing but debt between these accounts so he's extending the overdraft and so on.
I asked to see statements...
On his phone - it became apparent that there's nothing going on with the money going anywhere else, but the fact that he'd LIED!
So if he's lied about this what else has he lied about?
I've paid off things in the past (we've paid it from our joint account but I've managed it) including, I thought, this debt and so why didn't he just tell me.
He told me it was paid off! I asked him for the amount so we could pay it off.
We celebrated being debt free and it was all a lie!
He has lied about money issues in the past - tried to get a mortgage and couldn't as his credit rating was so bad - turns out he'd done stupid stuff like non payment of payday loans etc...
I thought we were past it all.
We were so happy. I feel totally destroyed. I've lost all trust.
We get on so well, he my best friend, he's with us all the time, he always puts me and the kids first and I've always felt so loved and cared for.
It's such a mess.
He's gone to stay at his Mum's while I get my head around it.
Sorry it's so long... needed to see it in black and white and didn't want to drop feed.
I suppose I'm wondering if anyone has been through similar or can offer any advice.