Looking for advice, I feel so lost and alone. My husband is a good guy. He’s everything I wished for in a husband BUT he is so unbelievably lazy. And it’s getting to be unbearable. I’m a SAHM but I do work from home. We have a 8mo & 3yo. I work hard to give them everything they need. If I can get childcare sorted I do, otherwise I work in the evenings once they are in bed. Not all the time, but I pull a fair wage in from what I do.
my Husband was ill a few years ago, 3 years now, he had to have chemo for a few months and took a while to recover. Both being self employed it dragged us down, into debt. It wasn’t his fault at all, obviously. But before that point, he was already lazy and didn’t bother to work nearly as much as he should have. And since he was unwell, he is still doing the same. If he does work, he doesn’t charge appropriately or forgets to even invoice at all. I’m talking like £1000s worth of work.
Im repeatedly ‘lending’ him money to pay for anything and everything - try to get us out of debts, basic necessities, he has borrowed thousands from me just so we can try to stay afloat. I say borrowed because it’s got to the point now I am sick and tired of bailing him out. We share our money but I’m getting resentful sharing when he doesn’t pull his weight.
I was on maternity leave for 39 weeks and made the same money as him last year. (For context - he has a better paid job than me)
alongside me doing all childcare, appointments, cooking, cleaning, laundry - he does absolutely nothing except take the bins out and maybe load the dishwasher once a week if I nag him enough. Not one night time feed of the baby. I’m frazzled.
I’ve thought about leaving his sorry ass but will I be any better off financially? If he pulls himself together like he’s promised we would be fine. I just don’t know if I can trust him to keep his promise.
im not trying to play victim here. I just need him to do his bit. A marriage should be an equal partnership.
can he change? Is this my life forever?
any personal experiences and advice much appreciated. Thank you for your help