Would you dare bring this up?

[ARaspberryberet]

Me and DH are separated a while. He had a baby last year and our children see the baby as their brother. Exh and the woman got pregnant very soon after seeing each other but she had been in long enough relationship. Perhaps cheated but I don't know nor is it my business. Rumours surfaced that this other man thought he was the dad but it was point blank refused and was told he was wrong.
Time has went past and the little baby has got older and I have to say I see zero resemblance of our children at all and I don't in my opinion see my exh in the little boy either. One or two of exh family members think the same but everyone is too afraid to say it. The little boy may very well be his and I suppose that's why a few of us are afraid to say anything. It's a cruel thing to say if the the child is actually his and he doesn't seem to have any doubts despite knowing there was a clash in timing. Do you wait and see if he ever questions it or do you bite the bullet and voice your concern when you could be very wrong? I think for the children too it's very messed up

I look entirely different to my brother , so do my dh and his brother. I also look completely different to my first cousins and aunts and uncles. The only people I look like would be second cousins. Genetics are weird but at the end of the day the babies paternity isn't anyones business except the child's parents.

The fact they don't look alike means nothing. As several posters on here have said, and I can think of manhy examples, it's not unusual for half siblings to look nothing like each other, or for people to not look anything like their parents.

Presumably your ex is very much aware of the other man's claims, and has chosen to ignore them and to accept this child as his. It isn't for anyone else to question that decision. It's noone else's business, but also - what would it achieve?

lol. Bet you go down a storm at parties.😂

I'm gobsmacked at the amount of people saying it's not OPs business.

Her children are forming a bond with a baby on the basis he is their brother. It's OPs role to look out for her own DC

Irrelevant of parentage, he is their brother, her ex is raising this child. And she has absolutely nothing to say he isn’t his child. The father is happy he is . His appearance is utterly irrelevant. Anyone with an ounce of common sense would know tnis.

Nunya. It is very possible that your ex knows full well that the child isn't his (if, indeed, it isn't) and is forming a united front with his wife so that her ex can't get nasty. I think that actually speaks well of his character.

I wouldn't say anything.

I look Middle Eastern. One of my children has pink skin and green eyes!

The may have done a DNA test for all you know and put it to bed privately if there was any crossover in dates.

As you say, stay well out of it. You have a good relationship and it's fairly smooth sailing with ex, you and kids. Don't rock the boat when it might not even be an issue (sorry for mixed nautical allegories!)

I’m just wanted to comment as my other half if in a similar situation with his brother so may help.

My brother in laws son was born with a chromosome abnormality and has a few minor deformities and delayed development. When he was born they were offered genetic testing on both parents to check if this had been passed on, this was refused by them at the time which we thought was odd and we never heard anything of it since.
As his son has aged his skin has become increasingly darker to medium/olive tone. My brother in law does have tanned skin for a white man, just like my other half, but our children and rather pale in comparison which really shows when they are together. His mum is white but slightly darker than myself as I am rather pale but not drastically. We have never said anything as we are not sure if this could potentially have something to do with his chromosome abnormality (as we don't know much about it )and have had no reason to not trust his girlfriend before.. until recently when he caught his girlfriend, who was early pregnant at the time, with another man in their home. He obviously questioned the paternity of the unborn child but she swore it was his. He refused to believe her and said he didn't want anything to do with the baby until she had a dna test, so she has continued the relationship with this new man and terminated the pregnancy.

At the time brother in law asked my other half if he thought the first born was his, and he just advised him to get a DNA test. When my other half next spoke with him and he asked if he was going to get a test he just said he knew his son was his and changed the subject.

My other half doesn’t know what to do anymore as he feels he cannot bring it up again but is sure others in his brothers close network (they don’t have any family left) must be thinking the same and wondering why he as his brother hasn’t said anything.

It’s a really tricky situation but like others have said, it's difficult to take this questioning back and could cause a massive fall out if we are wrong/they do not want to hear it. My brother in law obviously doesn’t want to believe it or deal with it, and that’s his decision to make, we can only be there for them if this does indeed turn out to be true.