Affair confession

[fantasticoplastico]

My ex husband is still denying an affair despite all evidence to the contrary.

If this happened to you did he ever admit it? (How long after) I hate this nagging doubt that I might have wrongly accused him even though i know deep down that it's true. (We've filed for divorce so it won't make any difference to the outcome just to my mental health)

He’s still got a hold on you, let it go and free yourself.

As someone who reconciled after an affair the point of getting over infidelity is to get through it and out of it
Some people reconcile and have their own way of doing things to make that process work.
some people divorce

you’ve chosen divorce so it doesn’t really matter whether or not he did. You’re out of the infidelity, potential or real. It and he can’t hurt you anymore, you need to focus on yourself
I’m a big fan of counselling if you haven’t already had some
if finances are tight there are lots of self help books and websites too

if your worry is that you divorced him and if the affair never happened you wouldn’t have filed that is a bit more complicated. People can always try again after separation/divorce but for reconciliation to work that needs the truth and it’s not clear he can give you that truth, maybe if he thought reconciliation was on the cards? But it’s not clear from your post if he is begging to come back

best wishes op x

Definitely not asking to come back. I am having counselling which is brilliant but i'm not yet at a point where i don't feel guilty in case he's been wrongly accused. I'll keep going!

If he still doesn’t confess then he has no regrets.

I trust that you have concrete evidence. I am in a similar position. Also found concrete evidence of serial cheating & affair. I left him and went no contact. We didn’t have kids so it was easy for me to do.
To this day he hasn’t admitted what he has done. Only the things I can prove, which is more than enough anyway.
I would advise you to go limited contact and stop expecting the truth and an apology. Divert your energy elsewhere. If they were good people to admit what they have done, they wouldn’t have done it in the first place.

In my experience they will hold off telling you the truth until it gets to the stage where any answer other than the truth would be beyond the realms of possibility.
Short of catching someone in the act, it is very difficult to 'prove' of course.
What evidence do you have and are there a number of different pieces of evidence which together would be very hard to explain away as a catalogue of coincidences?

What made you think he cheated. Did you see messaged etc?

messages, sheer amount of time spent together 'working' and a photo of them where it looks like they are kissing

Well you have all the proof you need. You’ve seen evidence of an emotional affair from the amount of messages and a photo of them being close and physical.

you’ve seen the evidence with your own eyes, you don’t need to hear it from his mouth. He’s too gutless to admit to it but you don’t need that. You’ve seen it for yourself.

Finally confessed. (After being forced to)

How do you feel? Relieved that you’re not being gaslit any longer, or upset that it actually happened? Hugs.

Relieved but also i feel now i can start grieving. The sadness has hit.

Look positively as you can in that you've already started the divorce process and you now have closure when you were unsure.

You can start grieving and healing now.

Good luck OP 💐