The issue I have actually started a couple of years ago but is still an ongoing issue in my relationship with my Husband. My husband and I had been with each other nearly 5 years. The first few years before he moved in with me, he lived in a different county but he has a cousin who he was close to and considerd him as a close family member that lives 5 minutes away from me, I still hadn't met said cousin in the 5 years until covid. At the point in my country when a few pubs opened back up we ended up drinking in the same pub. At first I thought his cousin was lovely but over time he started talking down to me or just being really rude and telling me to shut up. I spoke to my husband who was then my fiance about how I do not like the way he speaks to me, he talks to me like I am the sht on his shoes. Funnily enough my husband told me that he had noticed that himself but yet still never said anything to him on my behalf. The last time I was in said pub with him. He continued to treat me the same way so I told him not to speak to me like that but for some strange reason that only he knows, he didn't take me seriously so I repeated myself a couple of times and when he finally got it that I was being serious, he actually stood up and told me I'm only a cut and I'm this, this and this. SHOCKED yes that's what I was. I couldn't belive this excuse of a man said those things to me and treated me that way also in public, all because I told him not to speak to me the way he was. My husband said nothing at this time which is something I forgive and understand as I am a quite a fiesty person who is well able to stand up for herself but even I was taken aback by his outburst and never expected it so I was also stunned into silence. The next day my husband received a text from said cousin. He apologised to my husband. Not sure what he apologised for because in his text to my husband it said, I am sorry about last night. That's it, that's all he said. You would think my husband would have replied with something like. How dare you speak to her like that. Who do you think you are to treat her that way. You crossed a line. Don't ever speak to my girl like that again. Yeah that is what you'd expect your other half to say. All my other half said was, it's not me you need to apologise to. Yes, imagine that's all he actually said. I haven't been in the same place as this man since then even though my husband would
still meet him for a drink.
A few months later there was a funeral for a member of their family. He came up to me, pulled me into a side hug, said sorry. So I said just forget about it and that was the last time I'd seen him. Fast forward nearly a year. Myself and hubby went out for the day, like a pub crawl. Towards the end of the night we end up in a pub and hubby texts him to ask him something about a barman in this pub so he then new what pub we where in. My husband and I had a great day and where having a great night and then he turns up uninvited. He joins us for a drink and within 5 minutes he is telling me to shut up and he doesn't want to hear what I have to say. I then ask him if I can ask him a question but he doesn't have to answer if he doesn't want to. He said yes so my question to him was, why do you speak to me the way you do. Low and behold, he stood up and called me every name under the son again . My husband still never said anything to him. The next day he texted me husband. I'm sorry for last night but I'm not apologizing to her. My husband responded by just ignoring him. This was about 3 months ago and my husband had still not spoken to him. He has received a couple of texts from him but has not responded. Personally I think my husband should have done more. Now this week my husband and I have had an argument and haven't really spoken in the past 4 days. So my husband who is supposed to be loyal and have my back has started to speak to him again because we are arguing. It's like a fu*k you to me because we're not getting along. At this point I am ready for divorce. Am I over reacting. I hated my husband for not sticking up for me with him but I think this is the last straw. Am I over reacting. Are my expectations for my husband to high or am I just an idiot that married a horrible, selfish man. I personally think my husband is a selfish pig who puts himself before anyone else, I also think he's the biggest coward I've ever come across which is not something I ever expected in a person when it comes to looking out for your loved ones and standing up for them. Please tell me if I am wrong for wanting to end this sham of a marriage. I refuse to call this a relationship because to me a relationship means love, looking after each other, protecting each other and having each others back. Please tell me what you would do in this situation