Suicide threats

DracoDormiensNumquamTittilandum · 29/05/2024 20:21

Phone 999 he needs medical attention

JustKeepSwimmingJust · 29/05/2024 20:22

Yes. Police now for his own safety and yours.

Newyearoldhair · 29/05/2024 20:22

Yup, phone an ambulance.

Not19foreverpullyourselftogether · 29/05/2024 20:25

Are you safely away from him? If not, please leave immediately and call 999 to get medical attention for him.

Pinkbonbon · 29/05/2024 20:32

Either he's having a genuine breakdown or this is standard abuser behaviour (when you end it with them). Either way, get farrr away from him and then phone the police ambulance people, let them know the situation and they can decide hiw to handle it.

Do not: reply to his threats.
Do not: go over there.
Do not: take him back.

Block him entirely if you have no ties.

pointythings · 29/05/2024 20:33

Call 999, tell them what happened and that he needs a welfare check. Then step away.

LizzieBennett73 · 29/05/2024 20:35

Agree with others, call 999 and ask for a welfare assessment. And do so every time he plays this card.

category12 · 29/05/2024 20:36

Police.

If he's wielding a knife, you might be in more danger than he is of doing something to himself.

bluetopazlove · 29/05/2024 20:36

Yes definitely agree with everyone get himself and yourself help .

Original poster

Oksurething · 29/05/2024 20:59

He is back now, he hasn't got anywhere to go yet but we broke up a week ago,

He has some other stuff going on too, some his own doing (not seeing or supporting his daughter financially) so the ex has blocked him and sent a nasty text)
And some things not his doing; his semi abusive dad going into hospital. Which he found out a day after we broke up,
Thank you all for the replies,
Sorry to go on, I was scared because he left the house with the knife,
I wasn't sure what do, I googled it but i was still unsure,
Just a messy situation that's wearing me out x

OP posts:

Hugosmaid · 29/05/2024 21:01

Oksurething · 29/05/2024 20:18

I have ended my relationship of 1.5 years but my ex boyfriend is telling me he is going to kill himself, he is breaking down in tears, punching the shed door, he got a knife out and said he is going to stab it through his heart,
I'm not getting back with him but I'm so emotionally overwhelmed:(

Call the police. They will come and pick him up. He won’t do it again.

If he is really suicidal they will get him assessed.

I did this with my ex, he posted empty paracetamol boxes through my letter box. Police picked him up on the motor way 🙈

Pinkbonbon · 29/05/2024 21:42

I wouldn't be sleeping in that house with him.

What's the house situation? Who's name is it in?

It really isn't your concern if he has no where else to go. 'He's not sleeping under this roof if he's just brandished a knife about' should be your approach. Call the police.

Think about your own saftey op. It has to come first. He's not a safe person to be around.

Sunnysummer24 · 29/05/2024 21:46

I’m more worried about the risk to you. You need to call 999, say your ex is in your house with a knife and is threatening to kill himself and you’re also concerned for your safety.

You need to do this for both your sakes.

Dotty87 · 29/05/2024 21:57

Please take the advice of calling police, he may start with suicide threats however once he realises they aren't working he may turn violent.

What's your housing situation? Do you rent, or own? Whose name is it in?

kkloo · 30/05/2024 04:17

Oksurething · 29/05/2024 20:59

He is back now, he hasn't got anywhere to go yet but we broke up a week ago,

He has some other stuff going on too, some his own doing (not seeing or supporting his daughter financially) so the ex has blocked him and sent a nasty text)
And some things not his doing; his semi abusive dad going into hospital. Which he found out a day after we broke up,
Thank you all for the replies,
Sorry to go on, I was scared because he left the house with the knife,
I wasn't sure what do, I googled it but i was still unsure,
Just a messy situation that's wearing me out x

You need to get him out of the house.

You said he lacks integrity and respect for others in a previous thread so I would imagine the suicide threat is most likely to be a manipulation tactic, but either way it's not safe for him to be in the house with you. I would call 999.

As for his ex blocking him and sending him a 'nasty' text, from your other thread the 'nasty' text was that "I hope you continue to live your depressing life with those horrible kids" so he was obviously bitching about you and complaining about you and probably trying to get back with her...why would he be upset that she blocked him if not? It's not like he needs to be in contact with her seeing as he doesn't bother to see or support his daughter financially.

H said his no 1 priority is you, no 2 is his boat, and no 3 is his daughter....sounds like she's not even number 3. You said he has nowhere to go, he can go and sleep on his boat?

It's not your problem where he ends up sleeping but you just need to make sure that you're safe so he can't stay with you. I would be phoning the police and telling them about the threats and that you don't feel safe. It's not your responsibility to look after him and to keep him safe even if he was suicidal. He's a 40 year old man, you've ended the relationship. Just report it to the people who do have a responsibility to keep him safe if he is in fact suicidal....the police, and let them take over.

Edited to add:
Only really registered with me now that you have kids in the house also, so that's all the more reason to get him out of your house now.

ManilowBarry · 30/05/2024 04:28

Get that loser out of your house and your life.

He's a histrionic manipulator who could turn violent towards you.

Once he is out you must block him on everything and never engage with him again.

JerkintheMerkin · 30/05/2024 05:28

Seriously don't fall for it. I've had two ex's pull the "I'm gonna kill myself" card. I told them to go right ahead. Years later they are still very much alive.

Bananalanacake · 30/05/2024 06:06

You and your DC are more important than him, call the police to escort him from your house, hope he doesn't have any claim on it.

Original poster

Oksurething · 30/05/2024 11:04

Thank you, I need to hear this,

Yes kkloo you are right, im just struggling to keep perspective though it all ☹️

I'm sure the threats are to guilt me, but you can't go with that in case he did. Not that it would be my fault but it's a horrible thing to bear,

I need to stay strong but feel so guilty x

OP posts:

ManilowBarry · 30/05/2024 11:36

If you think rationally then you are absolved of any guilt because he is responsible for his own happiness, not you.

It's unlikely that he is genuine as the suicides you hear about are often met with surprise by friends and family who didn't know about the inner turmoil the person was suffering from.

Those that stomp around like petulant children because they didn't get bought an ice cream saying they will kill themselves are usually histrionic fools.

It isn't even about trying to keep you it's about their losing control of a situation.

You might be too young to remember this tv show but Bonnie is playing a character who when she can't get her own way, says she will scream and scream until she's sick!

That's essentially what your repulsive ex is doing.

%3D

DaisyCat33 · 30/05/2024 11:40

I've been here it's extremely hard. I had to ignore my ex in the end, despite him saying he was going to jump off his balcony (he lived in a flat very high up). It was just him looking for attention from me. Don't fall for it.

It's also not your fault if he does act on his threats. He's a grown man making his own decisions. He's emotionally manipulating you. It's very hard I know, but I'd recommended calling the police or ambulance and letting them deal with him.

kkloo · 30/05/2024 16:48

Oksurething · 30/05/2024 11:04

Thank you, I need to hear this,

Yes kkloo you are right, im just struggling to keep perspective though it all ☹️

I'm sure the threats are to guilt me, but you can't go with that in case he did. Not that it would be my fault but it's a horrible thing to bear,

I need to stay strong but feel so guilty x

Yes I promise you I understand the guilt etc.

I've been there with my ex and got trapped for over 10 years because of suicide threats, and I could write a book on the shit I put up with after we split up for months out of guilt and out of obligation to keep him alive but this man is not your obligation. I was well and truly brainwashed into thinking he was my problem as it started when I was only a teenager. So I completely understand the feelings you're having.

If he's genuinely suicidal then you're not the right person to help him, you're not trained in it I assume and even if you were, as his ex you are not the right person anyway because he will be trying to expect you to take him back.

Also important to note that all suicide prevention charities will advise you to report this to those who can help and are trained in it. So not reporting it and trying to deal with it yourself isn't the right thing to do anyway, even if the 'guilt' makes you think you're doing the right thing by him.