Hi all, I'm new to this so please bear with me. I could really use some advice (and kindness alongside it).
To cut a long story short, my ex partner and I split last year due to physical and emotional abuse on his side. We have a 3yo DS who resides with me but spent 2 nights with his dad. Anywho, the abuse continued despite not living together and he began to threaten me if I did not answer the phone of an evening when DS was asleep, or tell him what I was doing. The threats got so bad I went to the police last week and told them everything, historic and current. He was arrested and is currently on bail pending investigations (I have submitted concrete evidence of photos and screenshot of abuse) with conditions not to contact me for 3 months - due to this he is currently not having contact with DS - DS has not asked for his dad once. Ex and DS did have an okay relationship, however DS was starting to notice abuse and experiencing control from ex also, saying to me regularly 'I don't like Daddy, daddy scares me, Daddy's mean to me'. Ex would also try to facetime son 3 x a day on my days and son didn't want to, to which ex would scream down phone. Ex is also not a good role model to son, has a community order for assault, is racist in front of son and tells son to be racist to other children, push children over etc, extremely volatile and aggressive if son does not comply with basic tasks (as 3yos tend not to!). I tried everything i could to maintain civility, doing drop off and pick ups etc, being flexible but ex would insult me to son, scream at me in front of him, be physical to me in front of him, and threaten to take him and never let me see him (also threatened to tell people i 'touch' our son if i tried to take him, which still makes me feel sick to think about)
To paint a picture, ex has a superiority complex, thinks he is above the law, lives in a tiny studio room that son is getting too big for, smokes cannabis and drinks too much alcohol and has no friends or family (not slagging him off, just painting factual picture).
The main reason I am writing is because I want to, and have always wanted to relocate to the countryside (about 6ish hours away from ex, I won't say where for a bit more anonymity), I have family there who would support me wholeheartedly (I have no one where I currently am) and my son loves it there. I also have a job interview for in the area in a couple of weeks.
My concern is we have no order in place so both have PR. I have been told conflicting information; the DV service I'm under, CAB and the police have all said to relocate, start a new life and let ex chase for child arrangement. However, solicitors are a bit more hesitant saying that ex could have an order issued to 'drag' son back.
I just wondered what anyone would do in this situation, f* it and move and let him chase, or go down the legal route first and risk not being able to move? Ex has no money so wouldn't be able/would take time seeking legal advice.
My little boy and I have been through so much and I just want to give him the best life (plus start to enjoy life myself and watching him grow up).
If you have got this far, thank you.
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