Make it make sense

[spring49ooaA]

Men are weird, i've decided.

So i've been speaking to a guy that I used to date nearly 5 years ago. He popped back up a few weeks ago, out of no where.

We've been speaking over text, voice notes just catching up. Anyway long story short, he asked me if I wanted to meet up - great, was really looking forward to it as I knew we had a great time the last time we spoke and saw each other.

He asked if I was free last Friday after work. Had some lovely messages from him on Wednesday saying he couldn't wait to see me, was thinking about the past etc.... Thursday I messaged, no response (fine - he's a busy boy! - aren't they all). He got back to me Friday morning apologising saying he worked late and had taken his son out for a late birthday dinner. I responded, all good blah blah - are we still on for later? heard nothing back from him until 6pm where he was like 'OMG just got out of meetings' have I left the office already? - which I had but said to him no worries I can come back up to town and still meet you. he said, don't be silly, am I free tomorrow? (Saturday) - agreed to Saturday - he was like - perfect! really looking forward to seeing you.

Friday, 10:30pm he texted again and say's did I want to meet him in London, I texted back with yeah, works for me or I can meet you somewhere. He responded with 'Ok babe, will call you in the morning.'

I went to bed feeling quite positive we were going to see each other. Morning rolls round and I heard nothing from him. It got to lunch time and I sent a quick text, saying are we still on for later..... and........ I haven't heard from him since.

Someone, make it make sense! I'm fine with it as it wasn't a date or anything but its such an abrupt ending to things. My first thought was he was sick or more than likely got a better offer (other female!) but still he could have said something even if he lied.

Also, he has his read receipts off so those pesky blue ticks aren't there but I've not doubt he's read my message.

So i've been ghosted ....

I feel better for typing that all out and congratulations if you got to the end!

Why are they like this?

Honestly, I’d just block him. He might well have his fingers in lots of pies, so to speak. None of us have loads of time to be wasted like this and if things start off like this would they ever improve? You can do better.

He'll be back with some crappy excuse or another. He'll fit you in eventually at his convenience if you let him treat you like this. If he was really interested you'd know, this mucking about is just shitty so don't stand for it.

What a time waster :/

Personally I don't tend to text to double check on the day of a date if we just arranged it the night before (or even the day before that) as imo it's like saying 'are you SURE you want to meet me?'.

They're told the night before 'get you at X at Y pm'. I'm not double checking with them the next day like their mammy who has to manage their schedule.

As pp said, he'll be back with a crappy excuse.
And your instincts about him dating other women are probably right. Tbh I'm thinking he is still married as it would explain the taking ages to reply and vanishing spells.

Do you think he felt hard done by when your dating came to an end before? Whether this is his attempt at revenge or if he's just fucking with you for shits and giggles, he's not worth wasting any more time on. I'd take the wind out of his pathetic sails by blocking if I were you.

I don't thinks it's any type of revenge as we parted on good terms.

I'm just stumped, I think it's the text late Friday night asking if I'll meet him in London that's got me. Why bother? He might as well just disappeared when he didn't respond to my message on Thursday.

I'd guess he's in a rocky relationship at the moment. Got wistful over you when things were rough, but they are back on track now, so he's left it. His interaction with you was a symptom of his own issues. Now you know he doesn't communicate in a respectful way, and uses others to make his ego feel better. Steer clear in future, he's had his chance.