Online divorce regret

[Merrycat123]

I was feeling very angry with dh because he doesn’t do anything in the house except watch box sets. He does work and feels this means he doesn’t have to do anything towards maintaining the home. I also work and I can’t keep up with all everything. Last night I had been drinking and applied for an online divorce. I’m regretting it today. He’s very angry. I’m afraid for the future. We’ve been married nearly 25 years with grownup children. Can I cancel?

Yes you can cancel. I've done it before , don't panic . Just email them and tell them. Apparently it's quite common x

You might have to wait a week or so for refund but you will get it eventually

No, dont cancel. If your not happy and it sounds like youve been unhappy for a long time, perhaps its time for change. Its a big step i know that but clearly part of you wanted this

What sort of things do you want him to do in the house?

Does he realise that if you divorce and he lives on his own (assuming he doesn't find a new servant girlfriend immediately) he'll end up doing everything anyway.

Of course you can cancel - but are you sure you want to?

Him being angry about it doesn't seem like a great reason to not go through with it.

Him being appalled, sad, wanting to sort things out and make the marriage better for you would be more like it.

Of course change is scary, but maybe it could be for the better.

Thanks to both of you for your responses. You’ve been very helpful. We work in the same place so splitting up would be a huge upheaval. I think I may cancel application as it was done in anger tbh. I am unhappy though so I am going to make some changes regarding my job and then consider my marriage in a calmer light. Relationships seem to be easier to get into than out of!

I just want him to live in the house like a normal person and do things like put rubbish in the bin instead of on the floor or on the side and clean bath after he’s used it. Just not treat me like a servant (I’m not very good at that anyway). He says I’m controlling and making a fuss over nothing. I’ve gone on strike before but I crack before he does.

He sounds like a bullying lazy pig.

What's good about your marriage?

Not much. We do some nice things together such as trips to museums in this country and abroad. He earns much more than me and can be generous to me and kids. Trouble is coming home!

Your expectations are more than reasonable.

Good plan to change jobs then reconsider your options.

He doesn't sound like much fun.

Would you consider home help so at least you're not the one cleaning up after him?

I say go ahead with it, divorce the pig.

Your kids are grown up,you're unhappy in your marriage,your husband is a misogynistic pig who will never change,he clearly has no respect for you and you're treated as little more than a domestic appliance to him.

He thinks his time is more important than yours and you're worth less than him.

Why would you want to sign up for another 30+ years of the same bullshit?

Also I'd seriously recommend an appointment with a solicitor to go through what you're entitled to in a divorce.

It’s never a great idea to do things on the spur of the moment as you look and feel emotional rather than serious, so I would cancel…

…but his anger and general pathetic behaviour suggests to me that divorce would be appropriate in the medium term. Get your ducks in a row, including sorting your job, see a solicitor, work out your finances post-divorce, then tell him you are petitioning.

it’s very empowering, I can vouch for that!